This week the three remaining Wanna-bes - Jeff, Vic, and Susie - head to the Food Network Studios to meet up with Giada for one last Camera Challenge. And this one will end in a painful elimination. That's right - we'll only be forced to watch two "pilots" rather than the usual three!
Jeff is the first to face the Selection Committee and does a pretty good job of both describing his sandwich and telling a story to evoke his father, Big Gus. Giada says that his eggplant Parm is one of her all-time favorite of his sandwiches, but Bride of Fogelstein thinks that maybe he could have had a bit more energy.
And then it's time for the Gayest Commercial Break Ever (this week): designer/stylist/man about town Robert Verdi matches the three Wanna-bes to Valspar paint chips. Vic gets a purple, Susie is an orange, and Jeff is a rather shocking lime green. WTF does it mean? And doesn't "Valspar" sound like a medicine for herpes or something?
Back to the show. We see the three finalists head to the green room to stress out while the Selection Committee discusses their performances: predictably, they love Jeff; they think Vic is rough around the edges, but unique; and Susie has everything they want to see. They've been showing the Susie love since way back in the beginning, so I'm thinking she's going to win this thing.
Either way, it's a lose-lose scenario.
Back in the studio, Guy Fieri gives them more bad news - not only will he be directing them, but also a focus group of "select Food Network viewers" will be watching the finished pilots, in addition to the Selection Committee.
The next morning, Jeff and Susie enter the Hall of Douches, where giant bizarrely-posed portraits of Food Network Stars adorn the walls. The worst one is of Rachael Ray, whose head and torso are facing completely different directions. Then the "focus group" comes out, and of course it's comprised of the eliminated Wanna-bes who have been sequestered for the past several weeks, hating each other and every minute of it. You know they want blood.
Finally, after 4 minutes and 38 seconds, the Selection Committee comes to a decision. And the winner is...
...but first, let's bring out Brooke Johnson, president of the Food Network, who Bobby Flay calls "the best boss ever." Ass-kisser. That Ms Johnson...she has a real face for radio.
...the winner is Jeff, the Sandwich King! And while I was wrong with 2/3 of my predictions for finalists (Whitney and Orchid), I did get Jeff correct. Maybe I should work for the Food Network?
Next week...back to Minxeats regularly scheduled programming. Maybe a Meatless Monday post.
Posted by theminx on Minxeats.com.