But before I start this week's recap, let me tell you about a dream I had last night because it's vaguely related. What I can remember is that I was suddenly thrust into cooking for a dinner party, and no, Rocco wasn't anywhere to be seen (although I do remember wishing at one point he was around to help me in the kitchen). Instead, the party host was Caroline Manzo, one of the Real Housewhores of New Jersey and a recent guest on Rocco's Dinner Party. The kitchen was chaotic, with dinner guests already seated, a giant pot of beans on the stove badly needing to be drained (and I'm not able to lift it), no planned meat courses that I was aware of, and my having to cook brown carnaroli risotto with: 1) no idea how long it needs to cook; 2) no stock. Meanwhile, Caroline was in a panic arranging antipasti, and at the same time chattering on about me marrying an Italian boyfriend, who, now that I reflect on it, appeared in an Inception-style flashback-within-a-dream cameo as Andrew Garfield. That scrawny guy in the new Spiderman movie. And yes, I did watch the trailer yesterday afternoon. My mind is so freaking susceptible to suggestion, it's scary. Obviously I was much younger in my dream, because Garfield was born the year I graduated high school. ....
In any case, my dream was far more interesting than last night's episode of Rocco's Dinner Party, which was more annoying than anything. And sorry for the lack of pictures - Bravo only has images from the Signature Dish challenge and none of the rest of the show, and two of three videos are mostly useless.
Anyhoo...the three chefs this week were caterers Daniel "Darth" Vater and Vanessa Cantave, and biscotti baker and royal pain-in-the-ass Natalie Stone. That Natalie bitch talked non-stop, whether anyone was listening to her or not. I was kinda hoping that Rocco would be extra-super-douchy to her because I woulda been.
|Oh, I know. You're capable of great annoyance.
Meanwhile, third chef Vanessa is much more modestly confident and definitely more quiet as she works on her seared scallops dusted in porcini powder and served over creamed leeks.
And I don't have to. Vanessa is proclaimed the winner of the challenge and Daniel is sent off to grumble about how great he is while he packs his knives and goes.
Rocco then tells the girls that this week's theme is French cuisine. They'll need to plan their menus using Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking as their bible. Jes Forehead is then trotted out to help them with party planning.
Vanessa's parents are from Haiti, so she decides to inject some Island soul into her decor, with soothing blues and greens and a blue toile tablecloth. Natalie, who is clearly insane, tells Jes Forehead that she wants her room to be romantic, intimate, like a woman's bedroom, but also decadent like Paris in the 20s, gluttonous, with nude fat people, and lots of fruit on the table.
Back in the kitchen, Nutjob hasn't stopped talking for a minute.
And still they failed.
While Nutjob's decor is a mess, it seems that the guests enjoy her food, particularly the cake. Model Leah - who is a skeleton even with the supposed 10 pounds the camera puts on - tells Rocco that she is "pigging herself" on it.
Truffles make another appearance on the short rib dish (more snapper for Marcy), which is so adored by Salhaic that he declares it the best short ribs he has eaten in hees life. Dessert is also a big hit.
Time for the verdict. Rocco meets with the chefs at the Altar of Judgement and tells them they both did a remarkable job but only one can win. Thankfully that's Vanessa and not Nutjob, who keeps chattering all the way out the door.
Next week: She's So Raven! And a competitor who may be even more douchey than Rocco!
Posted by theminx on Minxeats.com.