Thursday, January 05, 2012
Top Chef Texas Episode 9 Recap
Episode 9 starts out back at the hotel, immediately after the last Elimination Challenge. The cheftestants are seated at the dining room table, enjoying a drink or six, and lamenting the loss of Chef Super Bitch. Well, not exactly lamenting.
Modernist Cuisine, by Nathan Myhrvold. There's also a note from Padma suggesting that the chefs study the books for their homework.
The next morning, the unassuming and rather nerdly genius billionaire Myhrvold himself is standing with Padma. During the press phone interview that I participated in before the start of the season, Padma claimed to be especially stoked about the presence of Myhrvold on the show, and insinuated that they were good friends. Of course - he's rich. Pads really enjoys..ahem...spending time in the company of wealthy men, and I wouldn't be surprised if Myhrvold was one of a long line of billionaires she auditioned for the role of babydaddy. I may not like Padma, but I have to admit - she's no fool.
We cut away to the other Chris, the handsome Malibu version, who is telling us he likes modern stuff. His apartment is modern. He likes modern art. In fact, he paints. Nudes. Really bad nudes. But they're modern.
Myhrvold is least impressed with the dishes of Paul, Beverly, and Grayson (all of whom admit that molecular gastronomy isn't their thang - Paul can't even pronounce it), but loves those of Sarah, Squinty Chris, and most of all, Jor-El. Jor did something extremely simple - a single cube of watermelon topped with an olive oil and tapioca maltodextrin powder which returns to liquid when eaten. It's a cool trick - I've done it before myself - and it was enough to get him not only immunity in the next challenge but also a set of those coveted cookbooks, which he immediately claimed and dragged over to his station.
On to the Elimination Challenge, which Padma says will take them from the modern to the traditional. When she announces that the group will be cooking barbecue, Sarah, the native Texan, starts to squeal like a little piggy. Padma then directs the cheftestants to form three teams of three and informs them that each team will be responsible for chicken, pork ribs, and beef brisket, plus two sides, for 300 diners. Sarah, Ed, and Ty form the Red Team, Paul, Lindsay, and Grayson get together as the White Team, and the two Chrises are stuck with Beverly in the Blue Team.
First the chefs go shopping, with $1000 per team to spend at Whole Foods and another grand to spend at Restaurant Depot. After that, they go to their cooking venue, a famous BBQ joint called The Salt Lick, where they are shown the pits and enjoy the flavors of some 'cue.
Later, they are taken out to another part of the property and shown the replica pits that they'll be working in, plus trailers and a smoker. It's 10pm and the chefs are just getting started - it's going to be another long all-night challenge. The cheftestants will need to use lights strapped to their foreheads to see anything out there in the long dark - and hot - night.
Might be fun to toss a truckload of hungry coyotes into the mix right about now. There'd be a huge bloody battle, with Ed emerging the victor, having joined the coyotes in vanquishing the other chefs and thus winning the competition by default.
Cooking time is winding down and the cheftestants start setting their food out for service. Ed gets out his frustrations by stomping around and tossing the chafing dish lids so they clatter loudly. Ed does exactly what both Mr Minx and I would do; he's like our cranky brother from another mother. And his solution to the one-man-down problem was to pre-cut all of their meat before service and load it into chafing dishes. He thought portioning it while serving would be a bad thing to do if there was a long line for food. And of course there are long lines - 300 people show up all at once and they are hongry.
And looky who conveniently recovers from her malade just in time to serve the judges, who are making the rounds after everyone else is served.
Who out there doesn't think this man is going to win this competition?
Blue Team goes back to the pic-a-nic table that's serving as the stew room and tells everyone else that they are facing the firing squad. Kal-El is safe, because he won immunity in the Quickfire, but each of the other cheftestants has committed some sin and is on the chopping block.
Bye, Handsome Chris! You will be missed. Maybe not by Padma. You couldn't afford her.
Next week: Restaurant Wars!
Posted by theminx on Minxeats.com.
Labels: fumetti, fumetto, humor, parody, Top Chef, Top Chef 9, Top Chef Texas
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I thought for sure you would have a repeating video of Grayson doing the little green frog song. I had dozed off slightly and woke up to the clip. My first thought was WTF, then it was, what will Minx write about this!
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