
Vacation?
After checking their baggage, they run into Ted Allen, who just happens to be hanging out in JFK's Terminal Five.




To mix things up a bit, each is assigned a restaurant that will play havoc with their normal culinary comfort zones: Jeffrey gets AeroNuova, an Italian joint (developed by Mark Ladner of Del Posto); Michael gets the French Brasserie La Vie (from the founders of Balthazar and Pastis); Melissa has to work within the confines of Piquillo, a Spanish restaurant (from Tia Pol's Alexandra Raij); Jamika is making sushi at Deep Blue; and Debbie gets 5ive Steak.

The wannabes get 30 minutes to cook a dish consistent with their restaurant's style. The winning dish will be sold at that restaurant.
We then get scenes of them rushing around in a small kitchen, dealing with knives that come attached to cutting boards with a leash, Michael wanting to work with oysters but not being able to shuck them, etc. and soforth.




Jeffrey bounded out and said since his life has no borders, neither does his cuisine and babbled something about being Lebanese [insert Jamie Farr/Tony Shalhoub/Sammy Hagar joke here. Bet you didn't know Sammy Hagar was Lebanese, did you?]. His poached egg bruschetta was deemed a perfect breakfast/lunch/dinner item by Fogelstein. And Tush really got off on the Lebanese factoid.
Melissa then tells them that Spanish was her first language until the age of 3, since her nanny was Spanish-speaking. What happened at three? Did her parents finally notice they couldn't understand her and can the Latina? Anyhoo, she made pollo a la plancha with chorizo and potatoes and impressed the panel. And Tush really got off on the Spanish factoid.
Finally, Michael brings out his Frenchie-stylie "surf and surf." Despite his "global a go-go" leanings....


Jeffrey wins the challenge and will have his dish appear on the AeroNuova menu.
Finally, the wannabes are allowed to get on the plane and head to the humidity of Miami, where they are staying in a cushy, air-conditioned apartment at the Eden Roc Beach Resort and Spa.



Oh, so you've watched Chopped, too?
Ted gives them the bad news: first, it's a team challenge; second...

Each wannabe must contribute at least 2 hors d'oeuvres and they all must come up with a signature cocktail. They head up to their suite to plan a menu before heading to the store with a total of $1500 with which to buy ingredients.
After shopping, they go to the venue - Nikki Beach, presumably the only nightclub in Miami (didn't they film a segment there during one of the seasons of Top Chef?) - to do a measly two hours of prep and cooking.



Unfortunately, there seems to be more cooking than there is time to do it in.
Eventually, the time comes when the boys have to take their place at the front of the house. They try to get the girls' attention so they can leave instructions about cooking their dishes, but the girls are just too busy with their own stuff to stop and listen.
They all get their shit together in time to run out in front of the gathered hoardes and make a brief presentation. Jeffrey announces that the drinks are spicy and the food will be spicy too.

Michael is having a grand old time as bartender. He keeps channeling Telly Savalas and yelling, "who loves ya, baby?" every few minutes.


Tush says, "Jeff likes to make people happy, but his food is flat." Like his ass.








Finally, Debbie stops fiddling with her trays and makes an appearance to the judges. Although not happy with her lack of expediting, the judges admitted that her food was the best conceived and best executed of the lot and Bobby thought she really brought her Korean flavors.
The next morning, Jeffrey is practicing for the elimination.
They meet in a blue room that is much more soothing than the Screaming Yellow Room of Doom back in New York. Probably a good thing, considering most of them have hangovers. The judges, I mean.




Debbie's dishes were both favorites, but she seemed chaotic. She claims she was being selfless. Then the judges brought up the fact that the food wasn't coming out of the kitchen in a timely manner and started pointing fingers. Was it Jeffrey's fault? He defends assigning expediting duties to Debbie.

Stinkin' liar!






They all get sent back to the suite where they point fingers at each other during the fifteen minutes it takes the panel to make their final decision.
Jamika, Melissa, and Jeffrey are all safe, leaving Debbie and Michael on the chopping block.


Ultimately, it was Michael who was asked to leave. Sorry Bobby - maybe next time.
This verdict pissed me off. Michael was indeed the "hostess with the mostess" and just because he's not comfortable in front of the camera doesn't mean he won't be great eventually. I don't remember Aaron McCargo being all that comfortable, and his show is in its second season. Bah.
4 comments:
Does anyone hate Ted Allen as much as me? Or Guy Fiero? Or Aaron McGyver Jr, for that matter?
Thanks for your rendition!! Fun to read!
It sounds like it was a stupid episode up until the end with all that drama. God, please let them all go home next week!
I was at the Chelsea Market yesterday visiting New York and I had no clue that it is the home of the Food Network. I thought "THIS is where all the evil happens!"
You're right about the judges on Chopped being bitter. I'd like to see them be contestants and see how well they do.
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