Monday, June 04, 2012
Next Food Network Star 8.4
This week we're pretending it's Fashion Week on Food Network Star. Ok, maybe it was Fashion Week when this episode was filmed (either September 2011 or February 2012). In any case, fashion expert Ted Allen is the special super duper Food Network guest of the week. Wait - Ted Allen? Are they confusing him with Carson Kressley? Did they assign this fashion episode to him because he's gay? Certainly he's closer to a fashion icon than Anne Burrell, but shouldn't he have been on last week's Chopped-style challenge?
Malcom - Meatloaf and mashed taters
Nikki - Pork chops and sauerkraut
Eric - Fish sticks and tartar sauce
Michele - Flounder and broccoli
Ippy - Salisbury steak
Martita - Chicken and rice
Yvan - Shepherd's pie
Linkie - Chicken pot pie
Emily - Ham steak with pineapple
Justin - Beef Stroganoff
Judson - Seafood Alfredo
Martie - Tuna casserole
Not only do the Wannabes have to transform a dish, they also have to do the usual one minute presentation, this time at a fake fashion show for real designer Pamella Roland. The winner of this challenge will receive a gift card from Discover worth a cool $10,000. Eric tells us that he *needs* that money because, as he reminds us for the 40th time, he quit his job to be on this show.
We see a bit of shopping, then some scenes of potential disaster in the kitchen. Overachiever Eric couldn't find spring roll wrappers in the supermarket, so he bought Vietnamese rice paper instead. Not the same thing at all. (Honestly, I don't know why Mr Hand-Crafted didn't make them from scratch and then brag about it.) Not surprisingly, when he tried to deep-fry his little package (snicker), the wrapper exploded off the fish, probably because it was damp. He ends up making a quick beer batter into which he dips the rice paper-wrapped fish before frying. The experiment is successful, and he feels all proud of himself for saving his own ass at the last minute.
Team Alton is on next. Justin has deconstructed his Beef Stroganoff to include cubes of rare beef and gelatinized gravy arranged in a checkerboard pattern. Susie forgets her passion for Malcolm and swoons and bats her eyelashes at Pink Lipstick Boy. The whole panel raves over the dish, which is actually pretty ugly, but it in no way resembles the original, which I suppose was the whole point of the challenge.
Emily is cute as a button with her stack of ham and pineapple; she's even fashioned a fascinator for herself from the same elements, which she wears with pride.
Finally, Team Toothy goes to bat. Yvan comes out all loud, showy, and fake, but his pretty shepherd's pie impresses the judges with its lightness. Ippy seems canned to the judges, and Tushface doesn't think he's a star. And when Tushface doesn't think you're a star, your days are sadly numbered. Linkie stumbles over her words and produces a puff pastry-crusted pie that doesn't have enough chicken in it for the judges' tastes. Finally, Martita hits it out of the ballpark. She's calm, collected, and her Latin twist on chicken and rice is gorgeous and flavorful.
After a wardrobe change, including a dramatic silk floral muumuu for Susie Fogelson, the big 10K prize is awarded to Justin, for being so gosh-darn clever. Alton is thrilled, especially when his team is given the overall win. That means we're stuck with cry-baby Judson for another week. The good news is that one loser each from Giada's and Bobby's team are on the chopping block. Not surprisingly, it's Eric and Ippy. These two are twin brothers of different mothers because they both can cook really well but are rather weak on camera. So the Producer's Challenge this week is all camera work, no cooking. Eric and Ippy have to taste an identical dish and describe it in one minute. And that dish is...French Toast with strawberries
Eric goes first, listing the dish's ingredients but not describing flavors. He does manage to make it slightly personal by throwing out this entirely made-up story about how his mommy made him his first French Toast on Valentine's Day when he was six. Completely unbelievable and fake.
Ippy's presentation is typically laid-back (and now I have to wonder if he's just carefully controlling the Hulk inside), but with a twist: he takes a ginormous bite of the toast and spends the remaining 52 seconds talking with his mouth full. He'll make Guy Fieri proud one day.
Bob and Susie then don ceremonial robes befitting their role as Priestesses of the Glowing Vagina and enter the temple along with the damned and their mentors. They talk about how Eric and Ippy are great cooks, yadda yadda, but one has to go home. Bobby and Giada try to defend their guys...
Posted on Minxeats.com.
Labels: Alton Brown, Bobby Flay, Food Network, fumetti, fumetto, Giada DeLaurentiis, humor, parody, The Next Food Network Star
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