Monday, October 17, 2022

Pumpkin Spice Forever!

I don't own a pair of UGGs. (I think they are UGG-ly.) I do love a cardigan, but none of mine are oatmeal-colored or fisherman-style. I most definitely do not decorate the house for Halloween--in fact, Mr Minx, Minxdog, and I flee the neighborhood to avoid the little candy-grubbers on that holy fall holiday. I don't make a turkey feast on Thanksgiving because there are hundreds of things I'd much rather eat. So while I am a white American female human whose favorite season is autumn, I am perhaps slightly atypical. Except that I wholeheartedly embrace all things Pumpkin Spice. Well, perhaps not all things, but many. At least those items that are meant to be sweet and spicy (as I am).

Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice Milanos - real, or fake?
Once upon a time, the only pumpkin spice things to be found were variations on pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin pie, but it's special, to be consumed solely on and around Thanksgiving. Or so I once believed. The combination of pumpkin (or butternut squash, which comprises most canned pumpkin) with cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg, is both tasty and fragrant and can be a real mood-lifter. So why limit the consumption of this heavenly elixir to only one or two days a year? Why not dedicate a whole season (maybe a season and a half) to it? 

Blue Diamond Pumpkin Spice Almonds - real or fake?
We can probably blame the geniuses at Starbucks for making pumpkin spice everything a thing. They start serving their OG pumpkin spice latte on AUGUST 30, well before the barest whisper of chill in the air, while leaves are still green, and my cucumber plant is still producing obscenely large specimens. Dunkin' puts out their pumpkin coffee variants even earlier in that month. (I tried their pumpkin spice cold brew last year and still don't understand why people think Dunkin's coffee is good.) August is also the time for pumpkin-y items to start popping up on supermarket endcaps.

Starkist Tuna Creations Pumpkin Spice - real, or fake?
Literally everything from soup to nuts is flavored with pumpkin spice these days. And those two items make total sense. Pumpkin or winter squash makes a lovely creamy soup that can go totally savory or a bit sweet. (Wouldn't pumpkin+cumin+coriander+chiles still be considered "pumpkin spice?") And the thought of a squash-based soup seasoned with dashes of cinnamon and ginger and a wee splash of maple syrup is not at all controversial. The same goes for nuts, which are neutral enough to work well with sweet spices, or curry, chiles, etc. 

Cheetos Pumpkins - real, or fake?
A few years before regular supermarkets started tempting shoppers (well, some shoppers are tempted) with seasonal orange-hued packaging for every product imaginable, Trader Joe's was the king of Pumpkin Spice. I looked forward to their seasonal newsletter, as I imagine most basic white bitches do, and oohed and aahed over the myriad pumpkinified options, from cookies to salsa to body butter (which was usually sold out before I got to the store).

Pillsbury Grands! Pumpkin Spice Rolls - real or fake?
There are, however, some things that don't need to be tarted up with pumpkin spice just because 'tis the season. I'm not sure we need pumpkin spice salsa, or hummus. Or pumpkin ravioli, samosas, or raw vinegar (srsly?). Budweiser has created a pumpkin spice Bud Light Seltzer, and Nissin introduced pumpkin spice Cup-O-Noodles. No thanks.

Rachael Ray Nutrish Zero Grain Beef & Pumpkin Spice - real or fake?
There have been spicy pumpkin beers around for a few years now. Some taste like pumpkin, most don't. (I like Southern Tier Pumpking Imperial Ale. It's sweet and spicy and at 236 calories for a 12-ounce bottle, best sipped for dessert.)

Burt's Bees Pumpkin Fiber & Cinnamon Towelettes - real or fake?
Clearly, the pumpkin spice trend is lucrative. Consumers bought over half a billion $ of pumpkin spice whatnots in 2019. Starbucks sells about 31 million PSLs (pumpkin spice lattes) a year @ $6-ish a pop.

Secret Pumpkin Spice Deodorant - real or fake?
What do you think of the Pumpkin Spice Industrial Complex? Too much? Not enough? What products do you like and which do you think are ridiculous? Do you have any pumpkin spice in your house right now? (We currently have a bar of pumpkin spice-scented soap in the shower.) As always, please leave a comment!

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* Any products in this post that are mentioned by name may have been provided to Minxeats by the manufacturer. However, all opinions belong to Minxeats. Amazon links earn me $! Please buy!

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