This week the Wannabes have to come up with their own food products and market them. Because Alton, Bobby, Giada, et. al., have branded crap for sale. Paula Deen used to as well, only now nobody wants to have anything to do with her since finding out she's used the "n-word" in the past. Who knew Nutella was such a dirty word? But those folks are actual celebrity-type people and presumably there is a demand for habanero mango hot sauce and spah-git-ee and flavored butter. Said products must reflect the contestant's POV, something uniquely them. They'll get one hour to prepare two different items, after which time the mentors will taste and critique. The Wannabes then must choose one of the two products which they will pitch to bigwigs from Kraft, Kellogg's, and Target.
Cooking commences. With such a short period of time to both conceptualize a product and create it, the Wannabes are a bit flustered. Stacey is having issues with making both of her products come out right, and Nikki is making vegetable sauces that look like baby poop. Mmmm!
They check out Russell's station first. He's made some flashy chocolate bourbon ginger ice cream with liquid nitrogen. Well, the liquid nitrogen was flashy, the ice cream was pretty bland. They loved his sugar-glazed chunks of slab bacon though, which he is calling "bacon candy."
Nobody wants to try Nikki's baby shit surprise, and after they do, they regret it. They think her pequillo pepper sauce has more promise than her eggplant spinach sauce (who would buy eggplant spinach sauce??) and tell her to think of some applications for it.
Damaris' whiskey honey vinaigrette is too boozy and one-note (kinda like Damaris), but her grilled peach pepper jam is spicy and definitely Southern.
Next up, the Wannabes take their selected product to a graphic designer who helps them design packaging. For some reason, everyone wants to put things in a jar, or maybe that's the only type of packaging available at such short notice.
Finally, the products are presented to a panel of
Chris, whose family owns an apple orchard with the biggest applewood smoker in Ohio, and who just so happened to make smoked apple ketchup, doesn't bother to make that important connection in his pitch. He has some interesting stories - like the one about being a former addict - but he doesn't think to share them until it's too late.
Nikki can't answer a simple question about where her product should be merchandised. Probably because it's obvious - pepper sauce that looks like baby poop should go directly into the toilet.
Russell starts out well, albeit slowly, talking about his deadly sins POV. The bitches are excited at the mention of sin, although one points out that it flies into the face of the whole "wellness" shit that's so popular today. Another claims that the bacon candy tastes great, but she doesn't get that it's candy. Because, stupid, it's NOT candy. It's "bacon candy." Like bacon jam isn't really jam but who the fuck really cares? It's bacon and it's delicious.
Finally, Rodney comes out and sings a song about pie style. His product is not actually pie, but a pie kit. He wants the consumer to take the elements of the kit and put them together, to feel like he or she is doing the actual cooking, not just throwing something in the oven. I don't really understand how a mason jar of liquid quiche with a blob of pie crust taped to the side is going to entice anyone into buying it. Not to mention - will it be refrigerated? Frozen? Seems like salmonella waiting to happen.
Next week: adjectives and auctions!
Posted on Minxeats.com.