Suffer it is!
The three finalists, looking all dolled-up, are driven by sponsorship mobile to the Food Network Studios at the Chelsea Market in New York. Damaris looks especially pretty tonight; the colors of her makeup and dress suit her. Rodney, in his black suit and red tie, looks like the Godfather of the Pie Style Mafia, which of course he is. Russell doesn't seem to have dressed up for the occasion, but he has shaved off his facial hair, which makes him look like he's got too much face.
Then we're subjected to the first of two different commercials for some new Kraft product that involves two sauces. Top Cheftestant and The Chew host Carla Hall and former cat food and meatball hawker Rocco DiSpirito are grossly CGI-ed as members of some mutant giant-headed Hobbit tribe that have invaded American kitchens and comment on homeowners' lame attempts at making dinner. The animation is horrible, but probably not as bad as the product they're trying to sell.
After the break, we get a focus group montage, and then one on Rodney's colorful language.
At about the 23 minute mark, Tushface breaks the news to Russell that he has come in third place out of three. I know how that feels. Of course, then we get a Russell montage.
Viet has a question for the mentors. He wants to know whether they expected more of him because he whooped Bobby's ass on Iron Chef. That's right, Viet, never let him forget it! Bobby said yes, he did expect more, perhaps unfairly, because Viet sucked on camera. Burn!
Yet another montage is shown of the Selection Committee, this time they're referred to as Mentors. Oh, they have a sense of humor!
I thought Rodney would get it, but it makes sense that Damaris won, since the network needs a new Paula Deen. I'm not saying that the network stuffed the ballot box, but maybe they did.
What do you all think? I know you Rodney haters (and you are legion) are happy. Doesn't matter to me, really, since the only time I watch the Food Network is Sunday nights. And speaking of Sunday nights - I really hated Cutthroat Kitchen. You?
Posted on Minxeats.com.