Flashback Friday - Milan

This post originally appeared on Minxeats.com on June 6, 2012.

Note: I always have fun writing somewhat snarky posts. Milan closed a few years ago.
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Earlier in the year I paid $39 for a Travelzoo voucher worth $129 at Milan. Other local bloggers had an opportunity to eat there for free shortly after the restaurant opened in early 2010. From photos and descriptions of the place, Milan seemed rather high-concept for Little Italy, and I wasn't sure such a place would make it in that neighborhood. I was still curious to try it out, so we paid a visit toward the end of May.

Wow. Where should I begin?

I'll begin with first impressions. Stepping into the restaurant, I was immediately struck by a smell. No, not of garlic and shellfish, nor of long-simmered tomato sauce, but of bathroom. A nasty chlorine+potty smell. Granted, we were the first people in the restaurant, and possibly when there are more people in the place and the kitchen is in full swing, the smell isn't noticeable. But it's really off-putting for that to be the first sensation encountered. (I eventually got used to it.)

Once upstairs on the main floor, I saw that the glossy veneer from two years ago, when the restaurant was new, has faded. The black paint on the wood floor is worn off in paths, the paint on the ceiling has bubbled and cracked, and the tables and chairs show wear. One of the high-backed chairs, which doesn't quite match the others, is patched up with white tape. I'm guessing that the intended effect of the stark white decor with touches of scarlet is "modern" and "classy." And I suppose it is. Classy like a strip club with bottle service. It's a place where Pauly D and The Situation would be completely at ease, hanging out one on of the lounges covered with upholstery straight out of a '72 Nova.

We were greeted by a tiny woman with masses of long black hair. She was wearing a skin-tight, very short skirt and sleeveless top, looking more like a nightclub patron than a restaurant hostess. Turns out she was our waitress. And the other waitresses in the place were similarly attired. Call me old, but I find it tacky when people who are serving food are required to be sexed up in that way. Were the place truly classy, the servers would be wearing crisp white or black button-down shirts and dark trousers, perhaps with a long apron. But maybe that's just me.

Or maybe the place just isn't classy.

Recently there's been some stink in Little Italy about how Milan is really a nightclub and not a restaurant. And the neighborhood, largely residential, is not zoned for such an enterprise. Nor, I imagine, do the residents look favorably upon the noise, or the clientele. And I can understand completely.

Enough with the bad stuff. Let's move to the food, which is the only thing I'm (somewhat) qualified to judge.

We ordered from a special menu that listed two salads, two appetizers, and a handful of entrees. Despite the limited choices, I was glad to see that we were not given the regular menu, on which the prices are annoyingly expressed in Euros as well as dollars. For absolutely no reason at all. I wish I had written things down in more detail, because I don't think the menu descriptions were accurate. Doesn't matter, really. The food was good, starting with the plate of crostini served with a warm dip of fiercely-garlicky seasoned olive oil, a bagna cauda.

Salads came next. Mr Minx chose the more simple green salad, and I had the Cesare Diablo. Here's where the menu descriptions come in question.

Mescolato Verdi

We think the menu said Mr Minx's salad came with dried cherries, but they were clearly dried cranberries. No biggie. My salad, however, had the word "diablo" in the name. Not reading the description fully led me to believe that the dressing would be spicy, but it was not. The online menu gives the impression that there should have been deviled eggs with the salad, but there were none. So I'm still trying to figure out that whole "diablo" thing.

Cesare Diavolo

Clearly, however, the salad did not need those ugly winter tomatoes. That said, I appreciate that Mr Minx's green salad had been carefully dressed in the kitchen with a perfect amount of creamy herbal dressing. My salad had been composed, so the drizzle of dressing on top was fine. As long as the dressing is not on the side, I'm happy. And the flavors of both were really pretty good.

For our appetizers, Mr Minx had a small wedge of crisp polenta topped with a chunk of mild Italian sausage on a plate drizzled with three sauces: a creamy red pepper sauce, one flavored with balsamic vinegar, and another with basil. It looked pretty and tasted very good. We couldn't really figure out how the polenta was so crispy yet had no color other than the brilliant yellow of cornmeal.

My calamari was scented with Old Bay, but really didn't taste of it. The puffy little rings were lightly battered and perfectly cooked, and I preferred them dipped in the leftover bagna cauda than in the light marinara that came with it.

Two good courses so far. And then we received a bizarre intermezzo. Rather than the usual palate-cleansing bit of tart sorbet, we received shot glasses filled with palate-coating pink whipped cream and a few bits of strawberry. It actually tasted pretty good, despite being super-sweet, but would have made a better dessert.

Mr Minx had chosen ravioli for his entree, and he was presented with a long platter of what appeared to be lasagna noodles covered in an unfortunate-looking sauce. The restaurant manager, who had been hovering nearby the whole time, stated that the ravioli were "deconstructed." Ok. In any case, the noodles were layered with bits of sundried tomato, basil, and bits and bobs of grilled chicken. The sauce, which I expected to taste like Thousand Island, was extremely rich and pretty much tomato-flavored heavy cream. That's not a bad thing, necessarily. It was a bit too much for me, but hubby happily scarfed it up.

My entree was a risotto topped with chunks of meltingly-tender lamb and soft slabs of onion in a savory gravy and a goodly amount of shaved parmesan cheese. The risotto was a little clumpy, but then so is mine. I really enjoyed the stew-like topping and wished there was more of it, but it was just as well - after a generous sample of Mr Minx's dish, I couldn't finish my own.

Dessert was forgettable. My cheesecake, served on a plate that seemed to be decorated with a melted version of the strawberry intermezzo, was fluffy and fine, but hubby's chocolate cake was terrible. Clearly obtained from a commercial bakery, it was cloyingly sweet and even a bit crunchy from excess sugar. It tasted more of chemicals than chocolate. Also included in the price of the meal were two glasses of wine apiece, which translated to two servings of about two ounces of unremarkable swill.

At the end of the meal, we were presented with a tab for $2.49, which included .15 sales tax. I didn't understand it, considering that my voucher stated that the meal included all food and beverages, but I left a couple of bucks extra on the table with the tip to take care of it.

So. I really don't know what to think about Milan. The food we ate was mostly pretty good. If you take away the sweet stuff, it was really good. Our server was quite lovely, very attentive, and I felt bad that she had to lug such heavy plates out of the kitchen, considering her wee size. The decor was, to me, sad, and out of place in the neighborhood. Perhaps if the restaurant had been set up a few blocks to the south, in Harbor East, and if the furnishings were a bit more expensive-looking, Milan could compete with Pazo for an audience of hip and pretty people who like to eat.

As we were headed out the door, we noticed what looked to be a somewhat grizzled neighborhood guy sitting at the bar. A young couple with a toddler were waiting to be seated. These are the people who frequent (and live in) Little Italy, and the people that Milan should be catering to. If they want to be a dance club, they should probably move elsewhere. If they're going to stay, they should keep the chef, get rid of the rickety tables and the bottle service, and for god's sake, switch to a lemon-scented bathroom cleaner.

Posted on Minxeats.com.

8Ball Meatball

Spaghetti and meatballs is the dish that had the biggest impact on my life. It was what we had for dinner every Saturday night when I was a kid, and it kicked off my special night of activities. After dinner, my dad would go out and buy the early editions of the Sunday newspapers (we had two major papers back then) so I could plow through the pages and pages of full color comic strips. Then I would stay up and watch Ghost Host or Creature Feature or maybe even an old serial like Flash Gordon or The Crimson Ghost. But it was the spaghetti and meatballs I looked forward to the most: hearty and spicy and soul satisfying. I loved it so much, I asked my mom to teach me how to make it. By the time I was 12, I was the one who made dinner every Saturday.

Over the years, I played around with different styles of and recipes for meatballs. I'd like to think I'm a bit of a meatball connoisseur, so when a new place in Fells Point called 8Ball Meatball opened, I knew I had to try it out. As is usually the case with us, other commitments got in the way, but we were recently asked to attend a media dinner to check out what was going on at the meatball emporium.

We started with cocktails and 8Ball Meatball has some pretty sweet adult beverages to choose from. The Otoño, ordered by a friend who generously let us taste her drink, is a citrussy blend of Suerte tequila, grapefruit juice, lime, and spiced simple syrup; the Minx swears it was her favorite thing of the entire evening and wishes she had stolen more sips than the several she already had.

The drink the Minx ordered for herself was the Pear and Cider Punch while I went for the Cranberry-Ginger Highball, both from the Fall cocktail menu. While both rum-based drinks were unmistakably seasonal in flavor, each was light and refreshing on that particular warm Indian Summer evening.

8Ball Meatball's menu offers a handful of ball-inspired appetizers (plus a few others) to start one's meal. The fried pickles appetizer was especially tasty, lightly battered pickle slices fried to a light golden brown with a Ranch dipping sauce.

Goat cheese balls were served with a "Summer" salad of greens, blueberries, watermelon, and strawberries, all drizzled with a sweet glaze--a light contrast to the crunchy coating of the somewhat hefty balls filled with creamy goat cheese.

We also sampled the quite spicy Buffalo chicken balls with their traditional bleu cheese and celery garnish.

Entree decision-making is both simple and complex at 8Ball Meatball. Simple in that every choice involves meatballs. Complex in that several decisions must be made: select a meatball; select one of six sauces to go with it; and finally, decide how you wish to have it served. Your balls can come in a bowl of four; you can get three balls in a sub roll with cheese; or you can have an individual ball on a slider bun. There's also a variety of starches and salads that can be placed alongside or under your balls. You could also choose to put an egg on anything (why not?)

I chose the bowl of meatballs served over pasta. Normally, you can choose up to two different meatballs, but in the interest of journalism, I talked them into serving me four different balls so I could write about each one. The veggie ball is a dense composition of beans, soy, nuts, and tempeh making for a hearty, firm, bite. The classic is a traditional, tender meatball made of beef, pork, and veal. Although the tender pork ball is labeled as spicy, I found it to be pleasantly mild and probably my favorite of the four. That night's special meatball was Italian sausage with onions and peppers and it tasted exactly like you would imagine. I could've enjoyed an entire bowl of those!

My one strategic error was choosing the spicy pork sauce. Although it tasted fine, I'm afraid it made it difficult to discern the flavors of each ball. I would probably opt for the classic or pesto sauce next time.

The Minx ordered two pork and two chicken balls with a Parmesan cream sauce over the risotto del giorno, which happened to be butternut squash. The pork balls were her favorite as well.

Despite the preponderance of spherical proteins at 8Ball Meatball, they'd like everyone to know that they are more than just meatballs. Those tasty drinks, for one thing, which are enough to have us coming back for more. Additionally, they are open for brunch on Saturdays and Sundays. But if you find yourself roaming around Fells Point any day of the week and are looking for a place to have a drink and a nosh, the food is fun and the prices are beyond reasonable.

8Ball Meatball
814 S. Broadway
Baltimore, MD 21231
info@8ballmeatball.com
443-759-5315



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Sausage and White Bean Stew

A recipe for a hearty stew might seem a bit out of place in May, but with the weird chilly and rainy weather we've been having here in Baltimore, it's really quite apropos. And actually, despite containing Italian sausage and white beans, this stew is really not all that heavy. It's tomato-rich, which brings a nice hit of bright acidity, perfect to chase away some rainy-May blues.

Normally, a soup like this might have some dark leafy greens in it, like kale. We didn't have kale, but we did have a head of organic bok choy from the farm box we received earlier in the week (from Washington's Green Grocer). It was green, and like kale, a member of the Brassica genus. But unlike kale, bok choy is crisper and juicier and cooks faster. And isn't kale. Come on, I know you are all as sick of kale as I am. Yes, it's green, yes it's good for you. But hell, there are plenty of other Brassica that are tastier and more fun to eat (gai lan, rapini, romanesco, heck, even plain old broccoli). Anyway, so I added bok choy. If you are a kale-ie, and have some hanging around, then by all means add it to the pot, remembering to remove the tough stem, and cook it for a bit longer to lessen the chew.

Serve with crusty bread, or by itself (as we did).

Sausage and White Bean Stew

1 red or yellow bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 onion, chopped
Olive oil
Salt
3 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon (divided use)
2 (15-oz) cans diced tomatoes
1 cup chicken stock
1 lb sweet or hot Italian sausages
2 (15-oz cans) cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
Cayenne pepper
Sugar
1 head bok choy

In a large pot, cook pepper and onion in a few teaspoons of olive oil and a pinch of salt over medium heat until softened. Stir in garlic, fennel seeds, and half the tarragon. Stir for a minute or so, then add the tomatoes and their juices and the chicken stock. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat to a simmer. Cook for one hour. (You could cook it for less, if you're in some kind of hurry, but the longer you cook it, the better it will taste, and the more mellow the tomatoes will be.)

About 45 minutes into the tomato + veg + stock cooking time, place the sausages in a saute pan with a half cup of water. Cover the pan and cook over medium heat until water has evaporated and sausages start to sizzle. Turning sausages occasionally, cook for about 8-10 minutes, until they are cooked through. Remove the sausages from the pan, cut each into 5 or six slices, and add them to the pot along with the cans of beans. Cook an additional 30 minutes. Taste for seasoning and add cayenne, a big pinch of sugar if the tomatoes still seem a bit acidy, more salt, and the rest of the tarragon.

Wash the bok choy thoroughly. Cut off the stem end, slice the bok choy crosswise into 3/4" pieces, and add to the pot. Cook an additional 10 minutes, until bok choy is tender.

Serves 6.



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Flashback Friday: Salad with Warm Sausage Vinaigrette, Walnuts, and Goat Cheese

This post was originally published on September 9, 2013
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Salad with Warm Sausage Vinaigrette, Walnuts, and Goat Cheese

Way back in 1999, my friend LaRaine and I went to Disney World for eight long days. They were made even longer by the fact that I had left my fiancé home while I was off gallivanting on teacups and monorails and watching god-awful animatronic bears and presidents and shit. We also ingested a good number of Calippo ice pops to beat the enervating heat and ate entirely too many buffet meals - both for breakfast and dinner.

We did have one very good non-buffet meal, at my instigation. At the time, I was absolutely enchanted by Emeril Lagasse. I had never had access to cable television until Mr Minx and I started dating, and whenever I was at his house, I made him sit through endless episodes of Emeril Live! as I day-dreamed about eating at one of his restaurants. That dream came true at Emeril's Orlando.

LaRaine and I basically ordered one of each - soup, salad, appetizer, entree, and dessert. There were gumbo and turtle soups, fried calamari with olive salad, barbecue shrimp, roast chicken, a "study of duck" with seared breast, confit leg, and foie gras, and banana cream pie. We were able to finish the soup and salad courses, but slowed down once the appetizers came and said uncle at the entrées. We took a shopping bag full of leftovers back to the condo, and they made for a couple of tasty lunches over the next few days. I even took the confit leg home to my sweetie, because I knew he had never eaten anything like it before.

There were some low points to the meal, but not many. The banana cream pie was a gummy mess, with floury custard and an underbaked crust. On the other hand, the mushroom bread pudding accompaniment to the duck dish was outstanding, and I've made variations on that theme many times at home. Another dish I've recreated is the salad of spinach with a warm andouille sausage dressing and rounds of nut-crusted goat cheese. It was hearty and meaty and probably why I couldn't eat very much after that.

The first time I made this salad, I couldn't find andouille sausage, so I substituted sweet Italian sausage. I also skipped the nut-crusting bit, choosing instead to add the cheese and the nuts to the salad separately. The next time I made the salad, I used andouille and found that I preferred the flavor of the Italian, so that's what I use every time now.

It had been a while since I made this dish - seven or eight years at least. But it popped into my head recently and I decided to make it as an entrée, topping it with pan-sautéed seafood to give it a bit more substance. It was as delicious as ever.

Salad with Warm Sausage Vinaigrette, Walnuts, and Goat Cheese (adapted from a recipe by Emeril Lagasse)

2 links sweet Italian sausage, casings removed
3/4 cup chopped onion
olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1/8 cup balsamic vinegar
2 cups each fresh baby spinach and baby arugula, washed and patted dry
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts
3 ounces goat cheese, cut into small pieces (I like Purple Haze, flavored with fennel pollen, which goes nicely with the Italian sausage)

In a large sauté pan, cook the sausage over medium heat, breaking it up with the back of a spatula until it's in small pieces. If the sausage starts to stick to the pan, add some olive oil (pork is so darn lean these days!) After about 5 minutes, add the onions and garlic and cook for 7-10 minutes longer, stirring frequently, until onions have started to brown and the sausage is fully cooked. Add the vinegar, scraping the pan to loosen any stuck sausage or onion bits. Whisk in about 1/8 cup of olive oil and remove from heat. Taste dressing and add salt and pepper.

Toss the spinach and arugula with the warm dressing in a large bowl. Season with more salt and pepper. Mound the salad on serving plates, top with walnuts and goat cheese. Serve immediately.

Serves 2 as a main dish.



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Sausage and Peppers

When I was a kid, I had a strong dislike for bell peppers. The only ones I had ever encountered were green, and those made me belch. Not only that, I didn't like the way they made everything they touched taste like green pepper. About the only thing I really liked that contained the green menace was my Dad's sausage and peppers. He cooked the peppers forever at a fairly high heat until they blackened and shriveled. Once mixed with tomato sauce, they basically disintegrated.

I was probably an adult already when I discovered that green bell peppers were unripe red, yellow, or orange peppers, and that once a pepper ripened, it was milder and less belch-y. They're even less gas-inducing if they're skinned, so I almost always roast bell peppers before using them (except, of course, if I am using them raw, which, er, I don't do). One exception is when I make sausage and peppers. Like Dad, I cook the peppers for a long time, almost until they're unrecognizable. I don't char them like he does, but I cook them for a very long time until they almost dissolve into the sauce.

Dad's Sausage and Peppers

3 red, yellow, or orange bell peppers
extra virgin olive oil
salt
2 onions, sliced thinly
1 lb Italian sausage, sweet or hot or a combination of the two
1 24-26oz jar of pasta sauce (plain marinara-style is best) or a quart or so of homemade sauce
handful of basil leaves, cut into a chiffonade

Cut each pepper in half, removing stems, seeds, and core. Slice into thin strips.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add a couple tablespoons of olive oil, the pepper strips, and a pinch of salt. Cover pan and cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The peppers should be very wilted at this point and fairly brown on the edges. Add the onions and another pinch of salt. Cover pan and cook an additional 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. If the onion appears to be browning too quickly, lower the heat.

Add the sausages. Cook, turning the sausages once in a while, until they are browned on all or most sides.

Pour in the sauce and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to a simmer and cook for another 30-45 minutes or until everything has amalgamated to your taste. Stir in the basil about halfway through cooking time, reserving some for garnish.

Serve over pasta or on sub rolls with mozzarella cheese.



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Salad with Warm Sausage Vinaigrette, Walnuts, and Goat Cheese

Way back in 1999, my friend LaRaine and I went to Disney World for eight long days. They were made even longer by the fact that I had left my fiancé home while I was off gallivanting on teacups and monorails and watching god-awful animatronic bears and presidents and shit. We also ingested a good number of Calippo ice pops to beat the enervating heat and ate entirely too many buffet meals - both for breakfast and dinner.

We did have one very good non-buffet meal, at my instigation. At the time, I was absolutely enchanted by Emeril Lagasse. I had never had access to cable television until Mr Minx and I started dating, and whenever I was at his house, I made him sit through endless episodes of Emeril Live! as I day-dreamed about eating at one of his restaurants. That dream came true at Emeril's Orlando.

LaRaine and I basically ordered one of each - soup, salad, appetizer, entree, and dessert. There were gumbo and turtle soups, fried calamari with olive salad, barbecue shrimp, roast chicken, a "study of duck" with seared breast, confit leg, and foie gras, and banana cream pie. We were able to finish the soup and salad courses, but slowed down once the appetizers came and said uncle at the entrées. We took a shopping bag full of leftovers back to the condo, and they made for a couple of tasty lunches over the next few days. I even took the confit leg home to my sweetie, because I knew he had never eaten anything like it before.

There were some low points to the meal, but not many. The banana cream pie was a gummy mess, with floury custard and an underbaked crust. On the other hand, the mushroom bread pudding accompaniment to the duck dish was outstanding, and I've made variations on that theme many times at home. Another dish I've recreated is the salad of spinach with a warm andouille sausage dressing and rounds of nut-crusted goat cheese. It was hearty and meaty and probably why I couldn't eat very much after that.

The first time I made this salad, I couldn't find andouille sausage, so I substituted sweet Italian sausage. I also skipped the nut-crusting bit, choosing instead to add the cheese and the nuts to the salad separately. The next time I made the salad, I used andouille and found that I preferred the flavor of the Italian, so that's what I use every time now.

It had been a while since I made this dish - seven or eight years at least. But it popped into my head recently and I decided to make it as an entrée, topping it with pan-sautéed seafood to give it a bit more substance. It was as delicious as ever.

Salad with Warm Sausage Vinaigrette, Walnuts, and Goat Cheese (adapted from a recipe by Emeril Lagasse)

2 links sweet Italian sausage, casings removed
3/4 cup chopped onion
olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1/8 cup balsamic vinegar
2 cups each fresh baby spinach and baby arugula, washed and patted dry
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts
3 ounces goat cheese, cut into small pieces (I like Purple Haze, flavored with fennel pollen, which goes nicely with the Italian sausage)

In a large sauté pan, cook the sausage over medium heat, breaking it up with the back of a spatula until it's in small pieces. If the sausage starts to stick to the pan, add some olive oil (pork is so darn lean these days!) After about 5 minutes, add the onions and garlic and cook for 7-10 minutes longer, stirring frequently, until onions have started to brown and the sausage is fully cooked. Add the vinegar, scraping the pan to loosen any stuck sausage or onion bits. Whisk in about 1/8 cup of olive oil and remove from heat. Taste dressing and add salt and pepper.

Toss the spinach and arugula with the warm dressing in a large bowl. Season with more salt and pepper. Mound the salad on serving plates, top with walnuts and goat cheese. Serve immediately.

Serves 2 as a main dish.



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Chicken and Cannellini Bean Stew

We like to eat early because, well, we just do. So when the Ravens play a 4pm game, it cuts into our dining schedule a bit. The best solution is to make something that can be served at halftime, either a quick supper of nachos or pizza (homemade, of course) or a long-cooked stew of some sort. We had done chili already for a game earlier in the season, and leftover Thanksgiving turkey nachos fit the bill for the Ravens game against the San Diego Chargers, so I decided to make something completely new for the game against arch-rival Pittsburgh Steelers.

Chicken thighs, sausage, and white beans are a great combination, especially when teamed up with tomatoes and garlic. Lots of garlic. Serve with a green salad and garlic bread for a tasty supper that doesn't involve a lot of last-minute prep.

Chicken and Cannellini Bean Stew with Sausage

1 lb sweet Italian sausage, casings removed
olive oil
2 cups onion, chopped
pinch of salt
5 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon chopped fresh oregano
1/2 cup dry red wine
2 15 oz cans diced tomatoes and their juices
2 15 oz cans cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 bay leaf
1 cup chicken broth
6 - 8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
salt and pepper to taste
polenta or rice

In a large pot or Dutch oven, cook the sausage over medium-high heat until browned on all sides, breaking it up into small pieces with a wooden spoon. Add a bit of olive oil if the sausage sticks to the pot. When the sausage is mostly browned, add the onions and pinch of salt. Cover pot and cook five minutes, stirring once or twice, until onions are soft. Stir in garlic and oregano. Add wine and scrape up any browned bits on the bottom of the pot. Cook until most of the wine has evaporated. Add tomatoes, beans, bay leaf, and chicken broth and stir to combine. Tuck chicken thighs into the pot, making sure they're submerged as much as possible.

Bring mixture to a boil, then turn heat to low and cover pot. Cook for 90 minutes - 2 hours, stirring occasionally. When chicken is falling apart, taste for seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve with or over polenta or rice. Serves 4-6.

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Milan

Earlier in the year I paid $39 for a Travelzoo voucher worth $129 at Milan. Other local bloggers had an opportunity to eat there for free shortly after the restaurant opened in early 2010. From photos and descriptions of the place, Milan seemed rather high-concept for Little Italy, and I wasn't sure such a place would make it in that neighborhood. I was still curious to try it out, so we paid a visit toward the end of May.

Wow. Where should I begin?

I'll begin with first impressions. Stepping into the restaurant, I was immediately struck by a smell. No, not of garlic and shellfish, nor of long-simmered tomato sauce, but of bathroom. A nasty chlorine+potty smell. Granted, we were the first people in the restaurant, and possibly when there are more people in the place and the kitchen is in full swing, the smell isn't noticeable. But it's really off-putting for that to be the first sensation encountered. (I eventually got used to it.)

Once upstairs on the main floor, I saw that the glossy veneer from two years ago, when the restaurant was new, has faded. The black paint on the wood floor is worn off in paths, the paint on the ceiling has bubbled and cracked, and the tables and chairs show wear. One of the high-backed chairs, which doesn't quite match the others, is patched up with white tape. I'm guessing that the intended effect of the stark white decor with touches of scarlet is "modern" and "classy." And I suppose it is. Classy like a strip club with bottle service. It's a place where Pauly D and The Situation would be completely at ease, hanging out one on of the lounges covered with upholstery straight out of a '72 Nova.

We were greeted by a tiny woman with masses of long black hair. She was wearing a skin-tight, very short skirt and sleeveless top, looking more like a nightclub patron than a restaurant hostess. Turns out she was our waitress. And the other waitresses in the place were similarly attired. Call me old, but I find it tacky when people who are serving food are required to be sexed up in that way. Were the place truly classy, the servers would be wearing crisp white or black button-down shirts and dark trousers, perhaps with a long apron. But maybe that's just me.

Or maybe the place just isn't classy.

Recently there's been some stink in Little Italy about how Milan is really a nightclub and not a restaurant. And the neighborhood, largely residential, is not zoned for such an enterprise. Nor, I imagine, do the residents look favorably upon the noise, or the clientele. And I can understand completely.

Enough with the bad stuff. Let's move to the food, which is the only thing I'm (somewhat) qualified to judge.

We ordered from a special menu that listed two salads, two appetizers, and a handful of entrees. Despite the limited choices, I was glad to see that we were not given the regular menu, on which the prices are annoyingly expressed in Euros as well as dollars. For absolutely no reason at all. I wish I had written things down in more detail, because I don't think the menu descriptions were accurate. Doesn't matter, really. The food was good, starting with the plate of crostini served with a warm dip of fiercely-garlicky seasoned olive oil, a bagna cauda.

Salads came next. Mr Minx chose the more simple green salad, and I had the Cesare Diablo. Here's where the menu descriptions come in question.

Mescolato Verdi

We think the menu said Mr Minx's salad came with dried cherries, but they were clearly dried cranberries. No biggie. My salad, however, had the word "diablo" in the name. Not reading the description fully led me to believe that the dressing would be spicy, but it was not. The online menu gives the impression that there should have been deviled eggs with the salad, but there were none. So I'm still trying to figure out that whole "diablo" thing.

Cesare Diavolo

Clearly, however, the salad did not need those ugly winter tomatoes. That said, I appreciate that Mr Minx's green salad had been carefully dressed in the kitchen with a perfect amount of creamy herbal dressing. My salad had been composed, so the drizzle of dressing on top was fine. As long as the dressing is not on the side, I'm happy. And the flavors of both were really pretty good.

For our appetizers, Mr Minx had a small wedge of crisp polenta topped with a chunk of mild Italian sausage on a plate drizzled with three sauces: a creamy red pepper sauce, one flavored with balsamic vinegar, and another with basil. It looked pretty and tasted very good. We couldn't really figure out how the polenta was so crispy yet had no color other than the brilliant yellow of cornmeal.

My calamari was scented with Old Bay, but really didn't taste of it. The puffy little rings were lightly battered and perfectly cooked, and I preferred them dipped in the leftover bagna cauda than in the light marinara that came with it.

Two good courses so far. And then we received a bizarre intermezzo. Rather than the usual palate-cleansing bit of tart sorbet, we received shot glasses filled with palate-coating pink whipped cream and a few bits of strawberry. It actually tasted pretty good, despite being super-sweet, but would have made a better dessert.

Mr Minx had chosen ravioli for his entree, and he was presented with a long platter of what appeared to be lasagna noodles covered in an unfortunate-looking sauce. The restaurant manager, who had been hovering nearby the whole time, stated that the ravioli were "deconstructed." Ok. In any case, the noodles were layered with bits of sundried tomato, basil, and bits and bobs of grilled chicken. The sauce, which I expected to taste like Thousand Island, was extremely rich and pretty much tomato-flavored heavy cream. That's not a bad thing, necessarily. It was a bit too much for me, but hubby happily scarfed it up.

My entree was a risotto topped with chunks of meltingly-tender lamb and soft slabs of onion in a savory gravy and a goodly amount of shaved parmesan cheese. The risotto was a little clumpy, but then so is mine. I really enjoyed the stew-like topping and wished there was more of it, but it was just as well - after a generous sample of Mr Minx's dish, I couldn't finish my own.

Dessert was forgettable. My cheesecake, served on a plate that seemed to be decorated with a melted version of the strawberry intermezzo, was fluffy and fine, but hubby's chocolate cake was terrible. Clearly obtained from a commercial bakery, it was cloyingly sweet and even a bit crunchy from excess sugar. It tasted more of chemicals than chocolate. Also included in the price of the meal were two glasses of wine apiece, which translated to two servings of about two ounces of unremarkable swill.

At the end of the meal, we were presented with a tab for $2.49, which included .15 sales tax. I didn't understand it, considering that my voucher stated that the meal included all food and beverages, but I left a couple of bucks extra on the table with the tip to take care of it.

So. I really don't know what to think about Milan. The food we ate was mostly pretty good. If you take away the sweet stuff, it was really good. Our server was quite lovely, very attentive, and I felt bad that she had to lug such heavy plates out of the kitchen, considering her wee size. The decor was, to me, sad, and out of place in the neighborhood. Perhaps if the restaurant had been set up a few blocks to the south, in Harbor East, and if the furnishings were a bit more expensive-looking, Milan could compete with Pazo for an audience of hip and pretty people who like to eat.

As we were headed out the door, we noticed what looked to be a somewhat grizzled neighborhood guy sitting at the bar. A young couple with a toddler were waiting to be seated. These are the people who frequent (and live in) Little Italy, and the people that Milan should be catering to. If they want to be a dance club, they should probably move elsewhere. If they're going to stay, they should keep the chef, get rid of the rickety tables and the bottle service, and for god's sake, switch to a lemon-scented bathroom cleaner.

Milan
1000 Eastern Ave
Baltimore, MD 21202
(443) 529-8432
onemilan.com


Posted on Minxeats.com.

Fumetto #13 - Who Would Brian Boitano Do?

Posted by theminx on Minxeats.com.