Otto

In February, I tried to get together for lunch with my friend, NY blogger David Dust. I chose Mario Batali's pizza joint, Otto, because it seemed like a good lunch place, plus it wasn't that far from where David worked. The bad news is he wasn't able to sneak out of work that afternoon, so we postponed our trip to Otto. The good news is that we were able to go there for dinner this past Thursday, along with friends Laura K and Roz.

We started out with a caprese salad. I was wondering what it would be like considering it's not quite tomato season yet...and was pleasantly surprised. The tomatoes had been oven roasted to bring out their sweetness, and the basil came in the form of pesto. Delish.

Another starter was a fennel and cucumber salad. I had expected shredded fennel along with sliced cukes, but the only fennel in the dish was a garnish of fronds. Still, nice and refreshing, and the only real vegetable I would eat for two days. (I actually only had two meals in two days in NY.)

Next came pizzas. We decided to get one each. I chose the funghi and taleggio from the "Pizza Otto" section of the menu....

...and David thought that the asparagus and goat cheese version sounded like a must-try.

Laura K went for the quattro formaggi from the Pizza Classica selection...

...and Roz chose the quatro stagioni (asparagus, mushrooms, cotto, peppers).

All of the pizzas were great, with crisp crackery crusts and flavorful toppings. My mushroom was my favorite - it was heavy on wild-flavored 'shrooms, and the cheese was tangy.

For dessert, we all went for gelati/sorbetti. I *had* to try the olive oil gelato. In fact, it was the real reason I had wanted to go to Otto in the first place. I also had the salted caramel and the pistachio.

The pistachio was mercifully not dyed green, and it had a rich nutty flavor. One of the best versions of that flavor I've ever eaten. Oddly, the caramel wasn't salty (it was dark and reminiscent of a good caramel sauce, slightly burnt and not too cloying), but the olive oil was. Salt in ice cream? A revelation! It reminded me of my mother's habit of eating Utz potato chips with vanilla ice cream. Only without the potato. Loved it!

The meal was terrific, but the company was better - thanks for a lovely evening! Oh, and I would definitely go back to Otto....

The Next Food Network Star Episode 4

There are seven wannabes left at the start of this week's show. We can only hope for a multiple elimination (like - 6 of them) so we can get this debacle over with...alas, the Food Network counter says we have more than a month of agony left.

After wakey-wakey scenes of toothbrushing, we hear Jeffrey confidently claim "I do believe I'm going to win," and Teddy say "I realize my mistakes." Well, we'll see about that. Plenty of time to make new ones!

On to the Food Network kitchens!

Oh yeah, redheaded chefs are scary people. Especially when they're wielding knives. Or wearing purple ties.

Bobby, who has gone burger-mad along with a plethora of other chefs such as Hubert Keller, Spike Mendelsohn, and Richard Blais (hmmm...all Top Chef contestants...), reveals the mini challenge for the week:

Hard to do. I hear she can unhinge her jaw.

This week is all about American food. The wannabes first have to create the ultimate regional burger; the winner of this challenge will have their burger featured on the menu of Bobby's Burger Palace. And every cent of the profit will go into Bobby's pocket.

Katie, of course, simply has to make turkey burgers. Which I guess is better than tofu burgers, except that tofu doesn't take that long to cook. Oh, and did I mention they only get 20 minutes to conceptualize and prepare the food?

Michael goes for a Mulberry Street burger. At first I thought it was going to be some sort of weird Dr Seussian creation of jing tinglers, trum tupers, flu floopers, and roast beast, but then he mentioned Little Italy and I realized he meant the street in that part of New York. Color me disappointed.

Jamika did a New Orleans burger, Debbie chose to do a Cal-Asian "bulgogi burger" (because she can't cook anything that's not Korean-inspired) Jeff also did California but with a Mexican flair (ditto, but Mexican-inspired), Teddy chose Pennsylvania (he apparently has an Amish fetish), Kate San Francisco, and Melissa did Burlington, Vermont.

Once the cooking is complete, the wannabes have to make a 30-second on-camera presentation.

Michael has charm but is too nervous, but his burger gets raves.

Melissa scores well on both presentation and flavor.

Jeffrey has that charm/nervous thing going on too. However, from week to week it's the same thing and Tushface wants to see some growth.

Teddy is as fake as a game show host.

Debbie had a good presentation but her burger wasn't exactly flavorful.

Jamika once again urged the audience to "take advantage" of her food (slutty, slutty, slutty!).

And finally, Katie served raw turkey burgers. Not only that, she didn't finish her presentation in the allotted 30 seconds.

Here, let me help you....

Because she served raw lamb two weeks ago, and now raw turkey, Fogelstein questions her culinary ability. Hell, you should do that for all of the wannabes!

After all is said and done, Bobby decides he wants to serve Michael's Mulberry Street burger at Bobby's Burger Palace. Congrats, Michael! (And congrats to Bobby's 2 ex-wives - he's going to make his alimony payment this month!)

The next morning, the wannabes are shuttled to the USS Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum, where they are greeted by a color guard.

Wait, you'll find out soon enough.

...here it comes...

Let's make our grand and honorable military personnel stand with flags and pomp and circumstance for Guy Fieri! Personally, I think that's grounds for war.

For this "party," each wannabe has to create an all-American home-cooked dish. And here's the catch: they have to use all of the regional ingredients found in a basket that will be assigned to them. Shades of Chopped! The FN has so few original ideas, it even copies itself! In addition, the wannabes have to present their dishes to the servicemen and women who just want to go home and have a *real* home-cooked meal.

TJ Walter from USA Weekend then pops up to tell them that the winner of this challenge will be featured on the cover of the mag.

The chefs get their baskets and have 1 1/2 hours to prepare. Because the kitchen is small, they cook in shifts. Teddy gets a New York-style basket and decides to make a DLT, with duck substituting for the bacon. Sounds good, but I'm sorry - there is no substitute for bacon. End of story.

Alongside Teddy is Jeffrey, who freaks out over a Maine basketful of live lobsters and blueberries.

He makes a "pot pie" by mixing the berries with some chipotle to make a spicy/sweet sauce and then slopping it into skillets with a cream sauce and lobster chunks. I hope PETA didn't catch the wild machete action on those poor lobsters.

It comes out of the oven looking like hell.

During the presentation portion of their trial, Teddy comes out shaky and acts weird, checking the notes he wrote on his palm like a third grader. His presentation "bummed out" Fogelstein. But his DLT was tasty.

As for Jeffrey's pot pie:

Yeah, it was that bad. And his presentation wasn't much better. He even called it a "shpiel."

Next up were Melissa and Katie. Melissa got a New Mexico basket full of chiles and skirt steak.

Dumb and smart at the same time. It was funny to watch her set out a line of peppers with her hand shielded by a paper towel, as if the chiles were toxic waste. And then she put some of each in her mouth? I'm suprised she didn't use condoms....

Yeah yeah, we've heard that before.

She did a great job with both her presentation and her food. The servicepeople and their families seemed to enjoy her dish quite a bit.

Katie, who got a basket full of Georgia, made a healthy meal of catfish and greens and got weepy during her presentation. Bobby Flay felt she was "middle of the road" but he really meant "on the bubble." In other words, she had equal chances of being asked to leave or being safe this week.

Jamika was next, cooking up goodies from Wisconsin. She got a basket of beer, cheese, and Polish sausage, so she decided to make a casserole with potatoes. Because they had to use electric burners, she couldn't seem to get her potatoes to cook, so she threw the mess into a food processor and hoped it would do the trick.

Yup. You know what happens when you mix potatoes + food processor, right?

And here was the audience's reaction, in a nutshell.

Fortunately for Jamika, her presentation was good.

Finally came Michael with Basket o'Hawaii and Debbie with Basket o'Cali-for-nia.

Rather than beating Debbie with delicious food and a dazzling presentation, Michael takes no chances and beats her over the head with his sheet pan, calling it an "accident." He feels terrible, but goes on to do a good presentation about his love for macadamia nuts (and nuts in general); the judges think his food "tastes like Hawaii."

Debbie, despite being in pain, delivers her "shpiel" competently, but her food is bland and the judges think she could have used her pain to lift herself to a new level. Bullshit. I'm pretty sure that if I hit Tush in the face, only his cursing would reach new levels of creativity.

After the whole cooking/presenting/hitting people over the head ordeal is over and everyone is allowed to escape from the horror that is Guy Fieri, we get a nightime shot of the wannabes' residence, with the rooftop flag flying at half-mast. Because someone is going down. (Possibly Michael, Teddy, and some sailors.)

At the Screaming Yellow Room of Judgement, the lights are up and the wannabes are squinting. We are told that this week's challenge was to see if the wannabes have a grasp on regional cuisine. Each are called out and critiqued.

Finally, we get the verdict. Melissa, who is getting close to finding good energy in front of the camera, and who prepared the favorite dish of the night, is declared the winner.

And Teddy, despite his good-tasting food, was just too nervous for our panel of judges and is given the boot.

Not suprising - it was either him or Katie (who I predict will go next week).

Thai Luong

The Minxes (including Papa and Bro) are rather obsessed with duck. I think it might be our favorite meat; definitely our favorite bird.

Some years ago, Papa Minx told tales of a duck dish he discovered at a Thai restaurant in Herndon, VA, called Thai Luong. The dish was "crispy duck with sweet basil," noted on the menu as the "heart of Thai Luong." Eventually, the family descended upon Herndon and partook of this mythical dish; it was as delicious as promised.

Now, Herndon is a bit of a haul for us Baltimoreans, particularly Papa Minx who resides in the wilds of Bel Air. But we felt that for such an occasion as Father's Day, we would make the journey. And we would eat Basil Duck. Or, three of us would. Mr Minx, ever the maverick, ordered a special: fried pompano with ground pork and ginger. He also tried a special appetizer called something like "chicken curry puffy" which turned out to be empanada-like pastries stuffed with a mild curried chicken and served with a cucumber salad. Minx Bro and I ordered Tod Mun, or Thai fish cakes, plus bowls of Tom Ka Kai, chicken and coconut soup.

The tod mun were rather large, making us wish we had gotten only one order. They were also grease-free and well-seasoned with lime leaf. I thought they'd make perfect seafood "sliders." The soup was unctuous with coconut; I prefer it a bit more on the savory side.

The duck was as heavenly as ever - crispy, deeply chile-spiced (hot!), with a nice hit of basil.

Was it worth the drive? Hell yes! It's a shame we barely have Thai food in Baltimore, much less anything this spectacularly good.

Thai Luong

171 Eldon St

Herndon, VA

(703) 478-2233

Pina Colada Cake

When I posted my pineapple upside-down cake photos on Facebook, a friend responded with a recipe for a cake that contained crushed pineapple. I decided to make the cake for Father's Day, so added a rum glaze and flaked coconut. Dad loves a good pina colada.


Pina Colada Cake

Cake
1 ­ 20 oz can crushed pineapple and juice
2 c all-purpose flour
2 c sugar
1 c coconut
2 eggs, beaten
2 t vanilla
2 t baking soda

Rum Glaze
1/4 lb. butter
1/4 c. water
1 c. white sugar
1/2 c. rum

Preheat oven to 350F. Place ingredients in large bowl and mix by hand until thoroughly blended. Pour into a well-greased bundt pan. Bake 30-40 minutes.

Prepare Glaze: Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in water and sugar. Boil 5 minutes (stirring constantly). Remove from heat and stir in rum. Drizzle glaze over cake. Allow time for cake to absorb glaze. Repeat until glaze is all gone.

---

The cake was a big hit. It was moist, despite not having any fat in addition to that in the egg yolks. It wasn't light and fluffy, of course, but somewhat dense. I wished the coconut flavor was more pronounced, so might try this again, removing the pineapple juice and substituting coconut milk.

A Tasty Thai Salad

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Barry and Bobby

Bobby Flay gives some grilling tips to President Obama.

The Next Food Network Star Episode 3

Sorry - no recap this week. Didn't get to see the episode last night!

ADDED: Here's an interesting blog post about contestant Teddy Folkman.

Wee-cap of Top Chef Masters

On episode 2 of Top Chef Masters - Wylie Dufresne has a bad day. And he got his ass beat by Suzanne Tracht in both the Quickfire and Elimination Challenges.

Why Sandra Lee is Not Alton Brown

You know how on Good Eats, whenever Alton touches chicken, he admonishes the home audience to "wash those chickeny hands?" Well, I just watched a few minutes of Semi-Ho-Made in which Sandra Lee coats raw chicken breasts with jarred jerk seasoning paste. She schmeared a spoonful of paste on a piece of chicken, then put the raw-chicken-contaminated spoon right back into the jar, then repeated it again and again with the other pieces of chicken.

I guess the Food Network can afford to throw away the half-empty jar. But don't try this at home, people!

Lunch

A bowl of Campbell's V-8 Southwestern Corn soup, garnished with chopped tomatoes, chives, and cilantro. Meh, it was ok. Like most Campbell's soups, it was lacking something that I can't quite put a finger on. And it was a bit too much like canned creamed corn (which I haven't eaten in decades but remember with disgust). However, it did the trick and satisfied a grumbly tummy.

The Next Food Network Star 5 - Episode 2

This week, the Wannabes head to the Food Network Kitchens to find a row of cloche-covered plates, Bobby Flay, and some really douchey-looking dude from Esquire Magazine. The theme of the short challenge is "bringing food to life," so I'm expecting some bad CGI animation.

Under the cloches - ok, domes, if you insist - are ingredients that would be found in an Esquire man's pantry. I'm thinking this would be half-used jars of mustard, lumpy milk, and ancient eggs. True story: long ago, when I was a nice person, I thought to make a birthday cake for a guy I was dating. Because he was at work and I wanted to surprise him with it when he got home, I decided to make it in his apartment. He claimed to have eggs, butter, etc. and all I needed to bring was chocolate. And a bowl and a mixer. Well, he did have eggs...in a carton that was dated May 5. This was September 30. But before I read the sell-by date, I attempted to crack an egg into a bowl. The smell was so foul.... I won't go into my queasy-induced vaso-vagal syncope, fainting, etc. Oh, wait, I guess I just did.

Anyhoo.... Each wannabe had to take what was under the cloche and concoct a man-friendly dish in 45 minutes. Then they would have to serve the dish and do a one-minute, on-camera presentation.

Eddie came out first and did well with both his meal and his presentation.

Melissa was next.

Tushface called her presentation both confusing and boring. And she looks constipated.

Jamika came out next and started out ok, but then had a brain freeze. After barely recovering, she said something about "taking advantage of [the food]." Great advice for a men's magazine! On those lonely nights, when its just you and that pork chop...who's gonna tell?

Jeffrey made some great food but his presentation was a little dull.

Teddy came out and acted like a crazy person. And he said, "coming at you from the mind of a chef" twice, so I'm guessing that's his catchphrase. They eyerolling from the panel suggested they didn't much like it.

Brett came out next and acted insane.

Michael started out strong but finished several seconds early. He filled the rest of the time intelligently.

Or not.

Debbie was next and did well all around. Finally there was Katie, who served raw lamb chops coated with bran cereal and touted the benefits of anti-oxidants. Ugh. Who wants to watch that on a cooking show? Take that healthy crap to the Health Channel.

In the end, Eddie gets the win.

Next we see the Wannabes take a trip to the Hearst Building and visit the Good Housekeeping offices.

Patience! Giada and Good Housekeeping editor-in-chief Rosemary Ellis will clue you in.

Not only do they have to create a holiday with food, but they have to use dumb props.

Since he won the Esquire challenge, Eddie gets to assign holidays to his competition.

He decides to be a nice guy and assign appropriate holidays: Anti-oxidant Katie gets Earth Day; Insane Brett gets April Fool's Day; Debbie From the South gets Mardi Gras; Mommy Melissa gets Mother's Day; Weird Michael gets Halloween; Jamika gets New Year's Eve; Teddy gets Labor Day. Eddie considers himself romantic and takes Valentine's Day, while giving Groundhog Day to Jeffrey.

After grabbing their props, the Wannabes plan meals and start cooking. Melissa has issues with working in the too-large and unfamiliar professional kitchen. As she scurries about with time ticking down, Brett and Teddy offer to help her plate.

Calm down. You're so excited, you're blurry.

The selection committee is joined by Giada, Rosemary Ellis, and Good Housekeeping food director Susan Westmoreland, who wears the same befuddled expression on her face during the entire series of presentations.

Each Wannabe comes out with their props and food and does a 3 minute presentation. Melissa comes out first and Tushface thinks her food is "aces." Phillip is next and somehow links Mexican food to Groundhog Day. Well, he doesn't really make the connection but hopes his charm will win them over anyway. Jamika brings out some simple collards and corn bread but she presents the dishes well and the food is delicious.

Katie bores the group with her bland food and rambling about healthy blahblahblah zzzzzzzz.

Teddy comes out and pretends to be a container of crabmeat calling out to him. This guy is off his meds.

Brett comes out and claims he's leaving the competition. The judges look at him blankly, as if to say, "you're leaving sooner or later, pal." But then he yells "April Fool!" and starts rambling about how the holiday is related to his mom and lobster tempura and who knows what the hell else. Maybe he should take Teddy's meds, since they're not being used.

Debbie makes her Mardi Gras presentation and is considered "a joy to watch," by Fogelstein.

Michael is deemed inventive, and Rosemary Ellis says "he knows who he is." Yeah, we do too.

Finally out came Eddie, who rambled on about his girlfriend and intimacy until Bobby got squicked and made him stop. Unlike in the Esquire challenge, he was boring and his food was under-seasoned.

Giada was off her meds too, insisting that Eddie was insulting.

Finally, the painful presentations are over and the Wannabes head to the Screaming Yellow Room for judging.The network must have realized that the room is just too damn bright, as the lights are dimmer than they were last week.

Giada admonished Katie to inspire, not to lecture. She then got on Eddie's case for being insulting and sharing too much.

It's my dream to someday insult a Food Network Star to his or her face. Until then, I have this blog.

Melissa is complimented on her food, so Brett steps in and tosses her under the bus because he and Teddy helped her plate.

That caused Tushface to ask if she could execute her meal on her own.

Honey, if you had any, would you be shilling yourself to the Food Network?

Finally the committee chose their Top Three - Debbie, Melissa, and Jamika. Because Jamika was so natural in her presentation and her dishes were simple and good, she won.

The Bottom Three this week were Katie, Brett, and Eddie. I would have tossed out Anti-Oxidant Girl because I'm already sick of looking at her and her crazy eyes, but instead they gave Insane Brett the boot.

Because Jamika won the challenge, we next see her in a cute lavender coat heading back to the GH offices to create a dish to be featured in the July issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. I wonder why they didn't use her recipes for corn bread and collards?

Next week - ah, do you really care? The Food Network doesn't. They can't wait until it's all over, as evidenced by the finale countdown they have on this page.

Rhubarb

So my friend Dave sends me an e-mail with rhubarb recipes a couple of weeks back. I figure he had a batch of it in his CSA basket, but no, he just wanted to share. One recipe was for a sweet pudding dish, but two were of the savory variety. I thought the Rhubarb salsa verde sounded interesting. And I had capers and cornichons on hand already. Plus, one stand at the farmer's market at UMB had scallions, green garlic, and rhubarb, so it seemed I was fated to make the stuff.

I prepped the salsa one evening after work. I used more rhubarb and less onion/garlic than called for (actually, I reduced the whole recipe significantly); the result was decidedly not green. More barf-colored, actually. And the flavor, after cooking, was sour, sour, and more sour. Oh, and a little salty. I added some honey to cut the sour and set the batch to cool in the fridge, where it remained for a few days.

One evening, Mr Minx whipped up some flank steak, mashed potatoes,and sauteed Brussels sprouts to go with the salsa verde/rosa.

I know...the salsa looks grotesque.

After hanging around in the fridge for a few days, the salsa tasted far less salty and more fruity than it did immediately post-cooking. It actually did nothing for the meat, sad to say.

A few days later, we had the leftover flank steak in sandwiches, for which I made a rhubarb salsa mayo. Now, that worked. The tart/creamy thing went nicely with the garlicky meat. I dare say it would make an interesting addition to chicken salad, as well.

Green Garlic and Rhubarb Salsa Verde

2 bunches green garlic or scallions (white parts only), finely chopped
4 ribs freshly picked rhubarb, greens removed, finely chopped
3 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 teaspoons roughly chopped capers (with about 1/4 teaspoon liquid)
1/2 cup roughly chopped cornichons (with about 1 teaspoon juice)
1-1/2 tablespoons finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
1/2 cup finely chopped red onion
4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (about 2 lemons)
2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
Kosher or sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

In a medium sauté pan over medium-high heat, cook garlic and rhubarb in olive oil until tender, about 5 minutes. Raise the heat and add capers and liquid, cornichons and juice, parsley, onion, and lemon juice, scraping the pan to release any browned bits. Add stock and simmer about 5 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Rhubarb Salsa "Verde" Mayo

Add a couple of spoons of salsa to a couple of spoons of mayo. Stir. Slather on something. Eat.

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

I made a pineapple upside-down cake for my MIL's birthday last weekend. It seems like it should be a simple thing, but I had a hard time finding a recipe that wasn't at least somewhat fussy. The one I settled on, from the Joy of Cooking, produced a rather dense cake. It tasted fine, I suppose, but I wanted something more...cakey. I suppose I'll be on a hunt for the ideal PU-D recipe now.

If you have one you'd like to share, please leave a comment!

Top Chef Masters Tonight!

Top Chef Masters airs tonight. For full coverage on all of Bravo's Top Chef programming, visit All Top Chef.

MinxEats and All Top Chef in Baltimore Magazine

Well, in a Balto Mag blog....

Baltimore Magazine's Suzanne Loudermilk gave a shout out to All Top Chef in her post about the upcoming Top Chef Masters. She also mentions MinxEats, as well as the blog of one of our partners-in-crime, Kit Pollard of Mango and Ginger.

Thanks, Suzanne!

Wanna be a Fantana?

The Fantanas are back and performing their catchy single once again. Now there is a chance to actually be a Fantana because the three new members are looking for a fourth to join their group.

Anyone who thinks they have what it takes can submit a one minute video and short essay now until June 30th showcasing their singing/dancing ability and explaining why they want to be a Fantana. The grand prize winner will receive $5,000 and the opportunity to sign an agreement to become the fourth Fantana, which includes appearing in Fantas advertising campaign (also all approved entries get $20 gift cards).

Visit the following link to enter (must be at least 18) and view the contest rules: http://www.fanta.com/contest/entry/

Check out the links below for more on the Fantanas and the contest.
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Fantanas/77902082946
Multimedia Press Release: http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/fantanas/

Symphony of White, or Ricotta Gnocchi

I was flipping through Molto Italiano last week, looking for nothing in particular, when I spotted a recipe for ricotta gnocci. I have had past experience with gnocci-making, and let me say it was not a good one. But those were the potato kind, what most of us think of when we think "gnocci." (Should we think gnocci at all.)

The ricotta gnocci seemed easy - mix a few ingredients, make some balls of dough, cook them. Presto! Dinner. But it was a bit more involved than I thought. Even so, they were not difficult and the end result sure was delicious, if I say so myself.

I didn't follow the recipe precisely - I didn't do the sausage and fennel part at all, just the dumplings.


First I had to drain the ricotta overnight. Here it is, post-drainage.

Next I took 1.5 lbs of the drained ricotta and mixed it with two eggs, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 1 cup of all-purpose flour. A symphony of white. I also added freshly ground pepper and nutmeg.

After mixing, the dough was still a bit sticky, so I added more flour. Didn't want to add too much though, just in case they came out as gut-busting rocks (a.k.a gnocci). I then "rolled" the dough into balls using about 2 tablespoons of dough each. They're not very pretty, are they?

After I had every blob of dough rolled (well, what I could get off my hands, anyway), I commenced to boiling them. The recipe calls for two boils, one for about 7 minutes and another one for 6. One 8 minute boil turned out light fluffy dumplings that were cooked all the way through.

Here they are, chilling in an ice bath while waiting for the second batch to cook.

And here they are, browned in butter with onion and mushroom, garnished with parmesan cheese, some leftover salami, and fresh chives and basil from the garden. The plates I used (our everyday pasta bowls) are a bit busy, so I highlighted the food so you could see it better.

Though light and fluffy, they were quite filling. With a salad on the side, 5 made quite an ample serving.

Next time I think I'll try making semolina gnocci.

Eco Trip - Salmon Farming

Salmon consumption in the U.S. has more than doubled in the past 15 years, an increase made possible in large part by the rise of commercial salmon farming. Meanwhile, wild salmon populations are at historic lows on both coasts of the U.S., and wild Atlantic salmon is commercially extinct.

On tomorrow night's season finale of Eco Trip - host David de Rothschild explores the complicated issues surrounding this culinary favorite, including the pro and con arguments surrounding salmon farming.

Eco Trip airs on Sundance Channel Tuesday @9pm. For more info head to http://www.sundancechannel.com/ecotrip.

The Next Food Network Star 5 - Episode 1

Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages! It's time once again to find out who will become the next Food Network Tool! I mean..."star!"

Let's meet the contestants. First, the ladies. This is Jen Isham, a sales manager from Orlando. But can she sell herself? (Yes, you may interpret that any way you wish.)

Next we have Jamika Pesoa, a personal chef from Atlanta

Not really. She reminds me more of Sandra Lee :::shudder:::

Next is Katie Cavuto, a chef/dietician from Philadelphia. Her eyes give me the creeps. She reminds me of the Runaway Bride.

Melissa d'Arabian, a stay-at-home mom from Texas

...and Debbie Lee, a restaurant consultant from West Hollywood, CA.

Now the guys: Brett August from New York

Teddy Folkman, a chef/restaurateur from Alexandria, VA.

The aforementioned Jeffrey Saad, owner of a real estate brokerage firm in Los Angeles and the only contestant for whom the preview I screen capped didn't have a snippet of confidental....

Eddie Gilbert, a sous chef from Manhattan Beach, CA.

And finally, Michael Proietti, an executive chef from New York.

After the contestants are gathered at their apartment, Jeffrey finds a not-so-mysterious note:

Time for the very first challenge! Everyone heads to the Food Network Kitchens to find Bobby Flay with Food Network execs Tushface and "Bride of" Fogelstein. Tush addresses the group:

"Each of you has some of the qualities that we're looking for, but none of you has it all."

Then why, oh why, did you pick this group of 10 if none of them have all of the qualities (douchitude, x-treme obnoxification, cutesieness, ridiculous facial hair, annoying catchphrases, and a fondness for using pre-packaged ingredients) you seek in a Food Network Tool?

Bobby then dismisses Tushface and Fogelstein because they annoy the hell out of him, too, and gives the contestants their first challenge. Because TNFNS is trying to hard to be Top Chef, the chore is a doozy:

Cheapskates - with all of the chefs employed by the Food Network, they get the rookies (who so far work for free) to do the heavy lifting. The "party" is a staged fete celebrating the Food Network's 16 years on the air. It's such an important occasion, Access Hollywood will be there! Ooooohhhh!

The chefs were divided into two teams, imaginatively named "Green" and "Red." Team Green is comprised of Teddy, Jamika, Jen, Melissa, and Captain Brett. Team Red gets the rest: Eddie, Michael, Katie, Jeffrey, and Captain Debbie. Each team has a budget of $1200 to feed 75 people. At Whole Paycheck.

Two contestants from each team then go shopping. Did I mention that there are only 5 hours to shop and cook before the "party" starts?

Back at the Food Network Kitchens, there are some issues. Katie has to borrow dijon from Team Green because Debbie either didn't buy it or left it behind because she was over budget at checkout. Melissa is cranking out miniature apple tarts and is worried that she won't get them prepped in time to get 30 full minutes in the oven.

Hey, now that's someone douchey enough to be a Food Network Star!

Luckily, Team Green has Brett, who likes to tell people what to do. Tarts make it into the oven in the nick of time.

To make things worse, Bobby Flay comes in, dressed in chef's whites. Time for a Tom Colicchio-esque Sniff 'n' Sneer!

Finally, time is up and the contestants head to Butter, Alexandra Guarnaschelli's restaurant. (Watching her on Chopped makes me think "Bitter" would be a better name.)

The restaurant is full of Food Network personalities: Giada, Alton, Duff, etc. Nancy O'Dell from that very important news outlet, Access Hollywood, is also there.

Before anyone gets to eat, the chefs from Team Green introduce themselves and their dishes.

Then the guests swarm the buffet in order to get a taste of Team Green's dishes. Brett makes a tiny comment about a dish being served cold because of having to work in a strange kitchen and Guarnaschelli gets all defensive.

After eating, the FN chefs give a critique of both the food and the presenter. Melissa's apple tart was a hit, and they liked her personality, but she may have talked too much; Jamika's shrimp was called a "gatekeeper of badness" by Alton Brown, but they liked her otherwise; Teddy's potato gratin tasted wonderful, even if the potatoes themselves were raw; Jen's green beans were unpleasant; and Brett's meat caused Duff to utter this line:

Was it really the meat, or the fact that he had to go all the way to NY to be at a pretend birthday party and wasn't asked to make a $5000 cake shaped like Rachael Ray's ass?

Team Red was next. While Team Green was presenting, they were in the kitchen prepping their food. Which means tearing up a disgusting angel food cake and dolloping it with ricotta cheese and jelly. Katie thought she'd gussy things up a bit.

You'll probably wish you only had a gunshot wound at the end of this.

After Team Red presented and served, the FN luminaries once again critiqued the chow.

They liked Captain Debbie's sauce and her personality; Michael's "from Bed-Stuy to Bangkok" speech was appreciated and his spicy steak was enjoyed; Jeffrey's dish, despite not having ingredients he desperately wanted to use, was well-liked, as was his delivery; Katie's salad and Swiss chard dishes were deemed safe and too much like food a dietician would serve; Eddie had a good idea but he needed to put his personality in it a bit more. He also needed to grow a personality.

Back at the FN Studios, the contestants enter a loud yellow room to find Tush, Fogelstein, and Flay seated on a dias as if they were Supreme Court justices. Tush tells the contestants what was expected of them in this challenge: 1) show us who you are; 2) demonstrate the culinary expertise we demand in a Food Network star. Wait - culinary expertise? So how did Sandra Lee make it?

After giving the contestants their strong and weak points, Jeffrey, Michael, and Melissa are named the top three, and Jeffrey the ultimate winner of the night. They are dismissed and Brett, Jen, and Eddie are called out as losers. Jen, with her unpleasant green beans and nothing personality, is given the boot.

Guess there's no room for "Housewife 2.0" on the Food Network. Thank God.

Oh My!

I was browsing for photos of Chinese food, when I stumbled upon an image for Chinese Birthday buns.

Hmmm.... looking like a part of the human anatomy, but not necessarily like "buns."

Ok - these look like buns! After a spanking.

And these... errr.  Ah....

They're supposed to look like peaches.  Right.

What do Sea Shepherds Eat?

No, not whale meat! They're vegetarian, natch!

Season 2 of Whale Wars starts Friday, June 5th at 9 PM E/P on Animal Planet. (Reality television that's actually worth watching.)

The Next Food Network Star

The newest installment of that potential trainwreck called The Next Food Network Star starts this coming Sunday, June 7th, at 9pm/8c. Yes, the show that brought us such luminaries in the culinary world as Guy Fieri and Aaron McCargo is back to find yet another person obnoxious enough to be on the Food Network.

Check out a preview here and videos of the ten competitors here.

And seemingly FN is bringing back audience voting, which failed so horribly for them in season 3 when ringer Rory Schepisi lost to Amy Finley. The "Fan Vote" page on the TNFNS site reads:

"This year, you too can be a judge on The Next Food Network Star!

"Starting June 7, vote for which finalist you would have eliminated and ultimately, who you would like to see as Food Network's very next star. Each vote will enter you to win a Grilling Oasis brought to you by Chinet, Viking and Summer Classics."

Hard to tell exactly what that means. Will viewers get an actual vote, or will the FN kangaroo court once again prevail? I guess we'll just have to tune in on 6/7 and find out. I'd ask FN PR bitch Lisa Krueger, but she won't talk to me. She, and the Food Network, apparently hate bloggers. Why? Because we speak the truth.

If there are enough videos of the episodes available online, I will be recapping!

Wow Cafe & Wingery

Wow, located near the corner of Eutaw and Fayette Streets, is a chain specializing in chicken wings with lots of sauce choices. They also feature salads, wraps, quesadillas, etc. Basically it sounds like a good place to have so close to the University of Maryland Baltimore campus...if and when carry-out service improves. Granted, they only opened last week, but it's as if they had no idea that there would be as much carry-out business as dine-in at that particular location. Hello?! Hundreds of people work and attend classes on campus, most of whom don't get all that much time to grab lunch and eat.

I tried the place on Friday. I ordered a Bangkok salad with grilled chicken, thinking it wouldn't be too taxing on the kitchen, and stood aside to wait. There's no real designated carry-out waiting area, so those of us who had ordered food hung around near the front door, confusing patrons who came in wanting table service. Most asked, "is this the line to be seated?"

I noticed that the girl who took the carry-out orders also was responsible for taking orders from bar patrons, despite the fact that there was a bartender. After about 15 minutes, I could see plastic bags of food coming out of the kitchen and being placed on the side of the bar; meanwhile, Carry-Out Girl was taking her sweet time farting around at the computer. Eventually, she came over with our tabs. I pulled out exact change so I wouldn't have an additional wait, thinking she'd hand me the bag and I'd hand her the money. Not so. I had to wait while she took more carry-out and bar orders. Meanwhile, the plastic bags were piling up on the counter and any hot food waiting to be picked up was getting cold. While all this was going on, there were two or three completely idle waitstaff wandering around, some looking at the bags, some putting menus in them, but not a one of them helping by taking payment or delivering food. It's as if Carry-Out Girl was the only person qualified to handle the obviously very difficult and complicated task at hand.

Eventually, one very pissed-off customer went over to Carry-Out Girl and Co., to complain. Finally, after handing over my money, waiting yet more time, and getting my food, I stalked out. I was about 20 feet out the door when I heard my name being called by Carry-Out Girl. She said there was a second bag with my name on it and wanted to know what bag I had. My bag also had my name on it and it contained...french fries. We traded bags and I beat a hasty retreat to my office. My 30 minute lunch break had ended 5 minutes ago and I was getting hungry.

Back at the office, I opened my styrofoam container to reveal a pile of cut-up romaine, the equivalent of three slices of cucumber, a handful of crispy won ton pieces, and a smattering of cold chicken pieces...FRIED chicken pieces. Remember, I ordered grilled chicken. And, as chicken cost extra, I figured I'd get maybe half a chicken breast or so. Nope. Not even a third. Not only was the salad on the skimpy side, so were eating implements - not a fork or napkin in sight.

And this cost me $11.12 (with tax)? I pay about $6.50 for a taco salad at Salsaritas around the corner and I have to ask them to give me *less* meat and more lettuce because I don't need so much protein! And the Greek salad at Cypriana, also about $6.50, has about half a pound of yummy feta cheese on it.

So, my advice to Wow would be: rearrange the front so there is a designated carry-out area. The hostess' station doesn't need to be that large and it's mostly empty anyway. Put a cash register and order station right there in front so one can pay as soon as he or she orders. Let there be an order taker and an order deliverer. Have a third someone take bar orders - like maybe the bartender! And portion size for salads sucks - lower the prices. Oh, and do this before the students come back in the fall.

And...maybe changing your name from "Wow" to "Meh" would be more appropriate.

Memorial Day Tapas

I don't know why I got it my head to make tapas for Memorial Day. Not exactly traditional, is it? I thought it would be a good excuse to get out the grill and cook up the leg of lamb that's been in our freezer for a while. Not that lamb needs excuses. Nor is tapas the most popular way to accompany it. But once I get something in my head....

Since Mr Minx had to fiddle with charcoal and all that, I thought it would make it worth his while to toss some chicken breasts on it too, to eat later in the week. Then I invited my brother, which killed the leftovers idea.

The spread consisted of grilled chicken and lamb (mingling on the same plate, both marinated in lots of garlic and soy, with tomato paste on the chicken and brown sugar on the lamb), grilled shrimp, potatoes and chorizo (from José Andres' tapas cookbook), endive salad with bleu cheese, tomato and herb salad (herbs freshly-plucked from the freshly-planted garden) with goat's cheese, marinated mushrooms, and "crab" balls. There was also some red pepper mayo for dipping, bread, and Marcona almonds. Oh, and a pitcher of sangria!

Cheap sangria: 1 bottle Sutter Home "white Cabernet Sauvignon" ($5.99), 1 orange, 1 lemon, 1/4 cup leftover cheap brandy, 1/4 cup cheap Triple Sec. Fruity and boozy and a fine accompaniment to my selection of eats.

I tried to get a good combination of textures, flavors, and temperatures going and think I was pretty successful.

The endive salad was pretty basic: sliced Belgian endives, bleu cheese crumbles, balsamic vinaigrette. I usually add walnuts, but bro is allergic to them, and anaphylaxis is a real buzz kill. The tomato herb salad had pineapple mint; sweet, Thai, and variegated basil; French tarragon; chives and chive blossoms; and some store-bought cilantro (it refuses to grow in my garden). And a couple gobbets of goat's cheese. The tomatoes were the "on the vine" type, which I've been having roaring success with recently. Don't know where in the world they were grown (nobody will ever accuse me of being a locavore) but they have been juicy, red, and sweet.

The potato recipe called for Spanish chorizo, which I could not find at Giant. Go figure. However, I always have Mexican chorizo in the freezer so used one of those. Being raw, they have a very different texture, and are flavored primarily with annatto. Unfortunately, the pimenton called for in the recipe was quite masked by the annatto. The potatoes were tasty anyway, but I will endeavor to make them with the proper chorizo next time.

The marinated mushroom recipe came from a little tapas cookbook called Tapas Fantasicas that I got for Christmas a couple years back. Sherry vinegar is very...pungent...so I was worried that the mushrooms would be too tart. I used a combination of baby bellas and shiitakes, and it really was quite delicious. I'd make them again.

---

Marinated Mushrooms

1/2 lb mushrooms, sliced
2 T olive oil
2 cloves garlic, finely sliced
2 T sherry vinegar
2 T water
1/2 t dried tarragon
1/2 t brown sugar
dash Tabasco
salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in a small saucepan over low heat. Add garlic and cook for 1 to 2 minutes, or until softened. Add mushrooms and stir to coat with oil. Continue to cook for another minute or two. add vinegar, water, tarragon, sugar, Tabasco, salt, and pepper. Cover pan and simmer on low for 5 minutes, stirring once or twice.

Remove from heat. Cool mushrooms in marinade. Eat at room temperature.

---

As for the "crab" balls.... Remember the fish tacos I made earlier in the week? Weirdly, after I washed and dried the fish, my hands smelled like crab meat rather than fish. So I saved a piece of the cooked fish, for experimental purposes. I flaked it, added crab cake ingredients (Old Bay, bread soaked in milk, mayo) and made three small balls which I fried up for tapas. They fell apart, as my crab cakes usually do, but they tasted reasonably crabby. Because it had been sauteed, he meat was a little tough; if I try something like this again, I think I'll poach the fish so it stays soft.

Gotta admit - Mahi from Trader Joe's is far cheaper than crab meat, and it's no less crabby than the flavorless non-blue-crab "jumbo lump" they sell at the supermarket.