Woodberry Kitchen is Back! Who Cares?

Woodberry Tavern menu. Click to embiggen.

When Woodberry Kitchen originally opened to rave reviews, including from people whose opinions I respect, I just rolled my eyes. I'd been to other of Spike Gjerde's restaurants, the ones owned with his brother, Charlie, and while they were good, none were particularly impressive. One was memorable, however., as it was the location of a birthday dinner on a particularly bad birthday. I won't bore you with those details. Let's just say that a whole Maine lobster served in a bowl of oily sauce is almost impossible to eat. Had I been in charge, that lobster would have had its claws and tail pre-cracked, or better yet, I would have removed the meat from the shell and arranged it daintily on a plate. Instead, the Powers That Be dictated that I wrestle with the whole greasy beast, which refused to submit to the cracker (which was also greasy, as were my hands). I should have sent the dish back, but I was already having a terrible day and some part of me must have felt that I deserved my fate. In any case, I've had it out for the Gjerde brothers since then.

Well, mostly Spike. Charlie seems like a nice guy, and his restaurants are all accessible places with decent grub. Spike, however, has long suffered from delusions of grandeur, which can only have been exacerbated by winning a James Beard Award. (Meanwhile, poor Cindy Wolf of Charleston, et. al., is the food world's version of Susan Lucci.) 

Mr Minx and I ate at Woodberry Kitchen a couple of times. Once was for our anniversary in 2011; while the overall experience wasn't optimal, we did have some good food. Another time was a free dinner sponsored by an olive oil producer; I assume I was invited because I was attending the Natural Foods Expo going on at the Convention Center that same week. And the third time was for Restaurant Week a few years back. I chose paw paw pie for dessert. It had the most unappealing curdled texture, beige/vomit color, and little to no flavor, yet somehow it made it out of the pastry kitchen. And while we didn't despise the restaurant, we always wondered how it was so popular. Honestly, I can cook homey dishes like chicken and dumplings myself, so why should I pay good money for it? Yes, it's nice to know that the animals that go into my food have been treated humanely, but I don't want to feel like I'm paying their condo fees.

Woodberry Kitchen has been closed for a while because of Covid, and Spike took advantage of the time off by revamping the place. He sold off the old fixtures and kitschy country barn decor crap and is dedicating what used to be the restaurant dining room to private events. The old private event room on the side is now the restaurant, rebranded as Woodberry Tavern. Just for shits and grins, I put myself on their mailing list so I could find out when they were reopening. Maybe he was going to take a page from Charlie's book and reopen the restaurant as a place the common man can go to enjoy a nice meal. Or maybe not. In advance of the Tavern's opening on December 8, I received an email with a link to the menu, which I have inserted above. 

Spike's out of his fucking mind. $59 for fried chicken with dumplings! $35 for "red pepper squash" and tofu. Perhaps he plans to use part of that $35 to buy a comma. The pig would have to come out in a top hat and do a little soft shoe for me before I'd pay 49 bucks for a schnitzel. Yeah yeah, entrees come with "miso-roasted" carrots, creamed kale, and potatoes with a fancy name that translates to "like a straw doormat" in French. Mr Minx makes incredible pommes pallaisson (note to Spike--you also need to buy an S) regularly, with about .75 worth of ingredients.

I'm sure Woodberry Tavern (hmm...perhaps the prices include an overnight stay?) will still pack in the people who have nothing better to do with their money. The least expensive 2-course meal there, without beverage, will cost $61.50pp including the 23% service fee. (The menu notes, "You are welcome to add additional gratuity for the service staff." Perhaps you should pay your staff a living wage, eh, rather than expect your customers to do it for you, on top of your ridiculous food prices.) We Minxes will only eat there for free, which of course ain't happening. LOL In the meantime, we'll be spending our money at places like True Chesapeake, Cosima, La Cuchara, Petit Louis, and all the mom-and-pop Chinese restaurants we favor. 

Published on minxeats.com

Parts & Labor

We finally went to Parts & Labor. And I almost hate to admit that I loved everything about it.

Why do I hate admitting it? Well, for one thing, it's not much fun to write a review for a truly delicious meal. What else can be said other that dishes are delicious, amazing, tasty, well-prepared, outrageously good, and near perfect? And I can use all of those commendatory words for Parts & Labor.

For another thing, and I know I'm probably in the minority here, I think Spike Gjerde's restaurants are a bit pretentious. Like not serving lemons or soda (soda!) in cocktails at Shoo-Fly because neither are local products. (That policy has changed, due to public outcry. Sometimes you have to give the people what they want.) But Parts & Labor hits all the right notes--good food, good drinks, extremely pleasant service. We even got a table by a window, which made for good photos.

Charcuterie - smoked boar sausage, lomo, bastirma

Parts & Labor is very meat-centric, so vegetarians beware. The building, once a former tire shop, also houses the butchery for the Gjerde empire. Meat comes into the place whole (as in whole pigs and cows) and exits as sausage, charcuterie, and other meaty delights.

We started our meal with a selection of three items from the "salt house," aka charcuterie. There were six or so choices from which we selected a salami-like smoked boar sausage, lomo (a dry cured pork tenderloin), and bastirma, a highly seasoned air-dried beef. The latter, with it's curry-ish flavor, was the table's favorite, but all were outstanding.

Enormous lamb kielbasa

We tried the lamb kielbasa from the sausage selection of the menu. At $12, it was the most expensive selection on the list, but it's extreme deliciousness made it worth every penny. Plus, it was huge. The sausage's smokiness balanced the lamb's usual slight gaminess, and it was juicy and nicely seasoned. I think it was my favorite dish out of all, and we tried a lot.

Pork chop

My Dad is a bit of a fussy eater, and he likes his meat on the well-done side. It would have been a crime to order the restaurant's dry-aged beef well done, so we talked him into the pork chop, cooked to the well side of medium. It was moist and tender and even Dad enjoyed it.

16-oz rib eye

He wouldn't have enjoyed the rib-eye, which came medium-rare. Perfectly cooked and rested, the steak had a nice crust and added flavor from a topping of compound butter and bed of chimichurri sauce.

Korean short ribs, slaw

The Korean short ribs were a pretty close approximation of the kalbi one finds in a Korean restaurant, only, I think, more tender. The sweetness of the marinade was offset by a tangy slaw that would have been the only vegetable on the table had I not reminded our party that man does not live by meat alone.

Wood ash hominy

We tried a dish of hominy, which had a strong corn flavor and reminded me of the Southwest. At a book signing recently, someone lamented that hominy is seldom seen on restaurant menus these days, and to that I say...get thee to Parts & Labor.

Dirty rice with chicken livers, blood sausage, okra

I think the only dish that I had a complaint about was the dirty rice. While there was plenty of "dirt," in the form of chicken livers and blood sausage, I wanted it to taste even more funky.

Grilled potatoes

The grilled fingerling potatoes were buttery and perfect...

Hearth wok with swiss chard, banana peppers, turnips, mushrooms, fermented tomato, benne

...and the Hearth wok was a bowl of deliciousness. I guess I could complain that the serving was too small, compared to everything else on the table, but the combination of flavors was really nice. A little sweet, a little sour (but not agrodolce), a little salty.

After we pigged out on meat, we ordered dessert. It was, after all, my brother's birthday. He chose the chocolate lard cake. Don't worry, it doesn't taste of lard (maybe a bit disappointingly), just of rich chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

Chocolate lard cake

Dad chose the blondie topped with peach conserve and an intriguing salty ice cream. This thing was huge, definitely share-able by two or more people, so I helped him. I had ordered only a single scoop of goat's milk ice cream, which was pleasantly goat-milky.

One hot blondie with salty ice cream and peach conserve

Mr Minx went for a peanut butter and bourbon concoction. It was good, but my favorite part was the super coffee-y ice cream that had noticeable bits of ground coffee beans. I wished I had ordered that AND the goat's milk flavor, but I had plenty to eat with sampling everyone else's desserts.

Bourbon caramel Peanut tart with coffee ice cream

Yes, we made complete pigs of ourselves, and I suffered when the bill came. But it was a special occasion and worth the splurge. I think on future visits we'll limit ourselves to 5 or 6 dishes, rather than 9. And maybe skip dessert. Or maybe we'll just do it all over again.



Posted on Minxeats.com.

Aggio Popup at Artifact Coffee

Bryan Voltaggio, owner of Volt and Family Meal in Frederick, Range in DC, and Aggio, an Italian restaurant within Range, is opening a second outpost of Aggio in Power Plant Live! here in Baltimore sometime early this summer. To introduce the restaurant to locals, Spike Gjerde hosted a two-night Aggio pop-up at Artifact Coffee. We managed to snag a table for the first seating on the first night.

First appearances are important, and Aggio hit all the right notes there with a generous bread plate that included ethereal grissini and heartier foccacia. They were served with two dips, one an intensely salty whipped goat ricotta with lemon and olive oil, and an unusual whipped mortadella. At this point, we were pretty happy campers and looking forward to the rest of the meal.

The first of four courses were equally successful. I chose the chioggia beets. Voltaggio likes to play with textures, and in this dish, the naturally sweet beets were presented in both chunks and paper thin slices. I didn't really taste the charred rosemary component of the dish, but really enjoyed the fishiness of the tonnato sauce (made with tuna) and the bottarga (an Italian salted fish roe). It was an inspired combination.

Chioggia beets, tonnato sauce, charred rosemary, pine nuts, bottarga, arugula

Mr Minx's impeccably fresh raw tuna served with orange was also a nice combination of flavors. And because the house lights dimmed dramatically a little while earlier, Mr Minx wasn't sure what he had on his fork at any given time. He enjoyed the little game of "is it orange, or is it tuna?"

Tuna, pistachio, castelvetrano olive, blood orange sugo, citrus pith, radish

For the second course, Mr Minx chose the asparagus and I had the shrimp and polenta.

Asparagus, fava and pea ragu, wild herbs, smoked pecorino, almond

The asparagus was a big disappointment. While the stalks were nicely cooked and juicy/tender, the only flavor in the dish came from the smoked pecorino. It was perhaps a bit too subtle.

Prawns, polenta from buckwheat and yellow corn, sauce fra diavolo

Also too subtle was the prawn dish, a homely festival of brown. I felt it was bland and uninteresting and lacking the promised heat and flavor of the fra diavolo. Clearly the Washington Post's Tom Sietsema, who gave Aggio three stars, was served a different dish. "The seafood choices include a raft of grilled prawns adrift in a dark orange froth of shellfish stock, tomato paste and red chili flakes. 'Too pretty to eat' comes to mind. Ignore the thought and dive in. Beneath the tender seafood is soothing buckwheat polenta."

On to the pasta course, which was much more successful. We passed on the spinach pasta with crab and buttered popcorn to try the whole wheat lumache with lamb ragu and the spaghetti alla chitarra with meatballs.

Lamb ragu, whole wheat lumache, oak smoked pecorino, mustard leaf pesto

The ragu was rich and delicious, with a hearty lamb-gamy flavor. A perfect dish to cozy up with on a cold winter's night.

Meatballs braised in ragu pomodoro, chittara, basil, parmesan

I am not Italian, so I like my pasta drenched in sauce (IMHO, the reason to eat the pasta in the first place). Voltaggio's spaghetti alla chittara was cooked properly al dente and was coated with a rich tomato sauce. The terrific meatballs were fluffy and soft, and according to Sietsema, are made with a portion of mortadella. In other words, they were full of baloney.... 

Dessert was hit or miss. Mr Minx had the cookie plate, featuring lemony "taralli" and chocolate biscotti. Despite the incorrect nomenclature (taralli are crunchy ring shaped crackers, and these were pillowy soft cakelets, more madeleine than cookie), Mr Minx enjoyed both. The "taralli" were especially tasty.

Cookie plate, Meyer lemon taralli, chocolate almond pistachio biscotti

My pistachio and olive plate tasted of neither. The kumquats were the star, as far as I'm concerned, sweetly bitter and bursting with citrus flavor. I wanted the sorbet to be more tangy, and the soft cake to taste like...something. But Voltaggio's textural contrasts are always fun and almost made up for the lack of pistachio.

Pistachio in olives, olive oil cake, pistachio cream, cara cara orange sorbet, crispy pomegranate, kumquats

We're eager to visit Aggio in its eventual destination downtown, realizing that part of the inconsistency of this meal may have been due to the tiny kitchen space at Artifact. It will be interesting to see how well the restaurant does in Power Plant Live!, which is still the Brokerage in my mind (a lame place, even when it was popular).

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Artifact Coffee

The first time I visited Artifact Coffee, my initial thought was that it looked like a smaller, more casual version of Woodberry Kitchen. That, of course, is no coincidence since both restaurants are owned by Spike Gjerde, and their rustic, crafty decor reinforces the notion that everything you eat here came from local farms and is skillfully prepared.

After the Union Mill building in Woodberry was remodeled for apartments, Artifact Coffee was created to give the tenants, primarily retired teachers, a place to have their morning coffee and a light breakfast. Special emphasis was placed on the coffee, and one can visit the restaurant on Fridays at 10 am for a "coffee cupping" to sample their new coffees. The menu expanded to daytime offerings of soups, salads, and sandwiches, and more recently, Artifact Coffee began dinner service Wednesday through Sunday starting at 5 pm. To compliment dinner, there is a selection of local craft brews, wines, and specialty cocktails.

The Minx and I went to Artifact Coffee for dinner recently and started our evening with a Duckpin Ale made by Union Craft Brewery located near the restaurant. In fact, Union Craft Brewery is one of the participants in Union Graze, a farmers' market hosted by Woodberry Kitchen and held in the area on Friday evenings from 4:30 to 8 pm through November 22. Along with the Union Craft beers, there is live music and produce provided by Five Seed Farms and Apiary.

Back to our dinner. For appetizers, the Minx ordered the roasted carrots and Japanese eggplant. Not a big fan of cooked carrots or eggplant, I opted for the griddled green beans. My green beans had a pleasant texture: slightly crunchy but without that squeaky quality that sets my teeth on edge. The toasted bread crumbs added a more definite crunch with the nutty brown butter providing that comforting depth of flavor and unctuousness usually missing in a vegetable dish.

Griddled green beans with toasted bread crumbs and brown butter

While I say that I'm not enthusiastic about cooked carrots or eggplant, I thought the Minx's dish was a fine example of those two vegetables. The carrots were firm without being hard, and their roasty flavor was not overly sweet like other cooked carrots I've had. The eggplant was soft and smooth with no hint of bitterness. The radish provided some crunch and the roasted garlic vinaigrette brought both umami and acid to the party.

Roasted carrots and Japanese eggplant, radish, roasted garlic vinaigrette

The waiter was highly enthusiastic about the Loaded Artifact Burger, so the Minx gave it a go. She asked for her burger to be cooked medium and the burger presented had a nice pinkness inside. It is amazing how much better a burger can taste when it is made with fresh, carefully raised beef. Such quality meat doesn't need much adornment, but the ample portion of melted cheese, fresh tomato, bacon, and toasted and buttered roll amped up the enjoyment factor nicely. I think the Minx would have preferred some fries over the strips of carrot, but it's okay to forego the extra fat and carbs once in awhile.

Loaded Artifact Burger: cheddar, bacon, marinated onion, house benne seed bun, vegetable ‘chips’

Everyone in the restaurant seemed to be ordering the burger or the pot pie (which looked delicious, by the way), so I thought I would be different and ordered the lamb sausage. Having a British grandfather made me a lifelong lover of lamb, and this sausage fulfilled my expectations. Lightly seasoned, the wonderfully gamy quality of the lamb shone through. The poached egg and rice were interesting additions as well. Once I broke the yoke and mixed the whole thing in with the rice, it took on a texture not unlike risotto. The yellow and orange peppers provided much needed acidity and their roasted flesh added some dimension to what could have been a fairly bland entrée.

Lamb sausage with roasted peppers, poached egg, and rice

Artifact Coffee is a place that is best visited when you wish to relax and spend some time away from the hectic world outside. They have one of the smallest kitchens I've ever seen in a restaurant (with the first induction grill ever used in Baltimore), so it's a miracle how Chef Adam and his crew produce such tasty dishes for so many patrons. However, miracles can take time, so it's best to order one of your favorite beverages, have some pleasant conversation with your dining partners, and enjoy the rustic decor.

Artifact Coffee
1500 Union Ave Ste. 114
Baltimore, MD 21211
(410) 235-1881





Posted on Minxeats.com.