Stupid Yelp Reviews

This image was generated by Adobe Firefly AI with the prompt: "a couple sitting in a restaurant, the woman making a face like something tastes bad". So this isn't exactly what I wanted, but it pretty much sums up how I feel about Yelpers. (The Yelpers are represented by the slop on the plates.)

I don't use Yelp. I feel that many review sites and message boards are populated with people who are either truly mean or truly stupid (I'm looking at you, Next Door). That's not to say that I won't give a place a bad review if it is deserved--I've done so here several times. But if I say something bad about a restaurant or a book or a product I purchased on Amazon.com, it's because the restaurant or book or product was faulty/incorrect/just plain bad. I don't give something one star because the shipping took too long or that parking wasn't available. That fact has no bearing on the product or place at all, and it's not fair to use that as the basis for a review. There's a lot of that on Yelp, and I'm sharing examples of stupid and/or mean low-star reviews here so you know exactly what I'm talking about. Italics are mine.

True Chesapeake

May 5, 2021

1 star

Michael O, an "Elite" Yelper from DC had not even eaten at True Chesapeake when he left this review. Clearly the man didn't understand that: 1) the patio was part of the restaurant; 2) it was damn hard to find people who wanted to work during the pandemic. The restaurant likely couldn't afford to spare a server for outside tables after a particular time. He chose to read minds, make assumptions, and generally feel superior. If he asked, "AITA?" the resounding response would be "Yes!"

We went here on the weekend about 10-15 minutes after 2:30 PM. There were still 3 outdoor tables unoccupied and we approached one of the waiters if we could be seated for beers and oysters. At first, he was willing to seat us but had to check up with supervisor inside. The supervisor informed us that they stopped seating prior to 3pm. According to website, they close at 3pm. Ok no biggie, but we decided to get food from another place at White Hall and returned to the same patio. Once we were settled at one of the patio tables and already eating our food, we were interrupted by one of the Oyster restaurant employees (who was Asian . . were they worried that we didn't speak English . . . Perhaps Unconscious Bias) who told us we couldn't sit there. Note there were two other employees that saw us and didn't bother to tell us to move before we had our food set up already. We reasoned that prior to Oyster place reopening this was not an issue to sit down. Anyhow the employee stood her ground but we were annoyed. There was no signage to say that patio had transitioned to restaurant only. To make matters worst the Asian employee echoed that although they stop seating at 2:30 pm they continue service until 5:00 pm. Note to management: probably unwise to turn people away who want to eat and drink since there were still tables available on patio.

Nov 5, 2022

3 stars

John G. from Baltimore fancies himself the expert on Smith Island cake and because True Chesapeake's version wasn't exactly the same, he dinged the whole meal for it. I've had TC's Smith Island Cake and thought it was great. In fact, I'm disappointed that it's not a permanent part of the dessert menu.

The food was pretty good and the service reasonably attentive. But that's not what I want to talk about. They had a Smith Island cake on the desert menu. It didn't taste right, and the texture wasn't right, so I asked our server, and she confirmed that they have someone come in and make it for them. It was disappointing for us, but an insult to Smith Island, and for a restaurant that calls itself True Chesapeake, a slap in the face to the Chesapeake.

Cosima

Feb 19, 2018

2 stars

Lia A. from Lutherville-Timonium, MD probably spends too much time watching the Food Network and playing on Instagram if she's so concerned that the actual, real, honest-to-dog Chef at Cosima isn't a "foodie chef." What even is a "foodie chef?" I think that Lia A. is one of those "foodies" who makes the word an insult. She's a person who has a little bit of knowledge about the subject, which makes her dangerous, but not correct. 

Definitely wouldn't go back. Neither would anyone at my table of four. Ambiance, wait staff, hostess, building and drinks are all great (the atmosphere is very cool) but the food is pretty bad if you're a real foodie. There is zero refinement to the dishes. The arancini balls were terrible - nothing like you'd find in Italy or at a good Italian place. The pizza was fine but not preferred over most of the pizza places nearby. The main course was muddled and over seasoned and we picked at it. These prices are crazy for food worse than a chain macaroni grill! The food quality, style, preparation and taste are well below the atmosphere. They squirted chocolate sauce that tasted only a little better than cheap Hershey sauce all over my cannoli. No foodie chef would do that. We paid so much for that food too. Why treat a cannoli like a Dunkin' donut? No refinement. None.

Kung Fu 12

Nov 4, 2023

1 star

I have one thing to say to Towanda M. from Philadelphia, PA. KUNG FU 12 IS A CHINESE RESTAURANT, SO WHY DID YOU ORDER THAI FOOD? 

The food lacks favor and is plain. I had the pad Thai, the noodles were over cook without any other ingredients than chicken.Thai basil chicken did not have any sauce or fresh basil. This was huge disappointment .

Apr 5, 2022

2 stars

Hey, Claudia C. Elite 24 from Essex, MD, if you don't like authentic Sichuan food, why did you go all the way to Towson for lunch? Do any Chinese restaurant menus list every vegetable that appears in every dish? KF12 doesn't offer wonton soup for their lunches because they don't offer a small sized portion of wonton soup at all. Nobody was stopping her from ordering plain chicken with vegetables, which is listed on the regular menu. Just because it's lunchtime it doesn't mean you have to order from the lunch specials. In all honesty, there was absolutely no reason for Claudia to leave a review at all because what she did say seemed more vengeful than something that might help future diners.

We visited this place new to us today upon the recommendation of a friend, he said it was excellent. So we took him at his word and went to try it out.

Now to the food....these were lunch specials. my husband had the Pineapple with pepper/beef ($11.95), I had the General Tso's chicken($9.50). Both were served with white rice. You have a choice of ONLY hot and sour soup or egg drop soup and a spring roll with the lunch special (I am wondering where's the standard wonton soup?) No such luck! I asked for it and the server said no.That was disappointing.

Both came out at the same time and the presentation was beautiful. The beef and green peppers and pineapple was too spicy, it is not indicated on the menu. The General Tso's was very spicy, almost to the point of clearing your sinuses.

The lunch menu does not describe what is in each dish, such as vegetables and what kind of vegetables, you have to ask, and that got tedious real fast. Actually what I wanted was some chicken with mixed vege's, again no such luck.

A pot of tea is included with the meal, you have to request it. It had a smokey taste to it.

Their food appears to be geared more toward the hardcore Chinese food rather than the Americanized Chinese food we are used to. I say this because of the menu selections that are other than lunch specials.

Portions are right on target, not too much and not too little, prices are a bit on the high side for the main menu.

Probably won't be back.

Red Pepper Sichuan Bistro

Dec 31, 2022

1 star

Ty F., from Towson, MD is a moron. This is a Yelp review for Red Pepper Sichuan Bistro, not GrubHub. If you have a problem with the restaurant, you should talk about the restaurant, not the delivery service. I'm pretty sure you can't be allergic to fried foods. However, if you think you are, then why order a dish that is fried? My brother's allergic to peanuts, but he's not stupid enough to order kung pao chicken and request that the peanuts be left out. The menu at Red Pepper is huge--order something else? Also, did Ty F actually threaten a GrubHub employee? What a loser.

The fact that the restaurant sent fried chicken instead of steamed chicken despite our request, because my SO is allergic to fried food is the least of my complaints.

We got the delivery from DoorDash, because the GrubHub website was not working properly. When I hit the submit button on THREE SEPARATE TRIES, the page said something was wrong, try again. I bailed and used DoorDash. That worked.

As I'm finishing up I notice an email from Yelp/GrubHub that my order (Order #483221171916533) went through. I call GrubHub and explain that their web site is broken and we bailed and we never saw a sign that the purchase went through. I told the person on the phone to cancel the order. He said it was too late to cancel. I told him that was the wrong answer. I told him this was their web site making an error THREE TIMES and if he didn't cancel it, things would not go well for him.

I hung up, called my credit card company and put a stop on the purchase. They said the transaction was still pending, but I could stop it, if Yelp/Grubhub decided to be foolish and posted it.

PS: Apple's HEIC picture format has been around for over a year. Please tell your web people to also change the site so those files don't need to be converted to .jpg or .jpeg first.

Nov 21, 2019

1 star

Mac N Mj M. of Las Vegas, NV is another moron. Why give Red Pepper the low rating if you're mad at GrubHub?

Couldn't tell you how the food was, driver was rude, the address was off by 4 numbers, yep my fault, he trashed my food, His words not mine. Not a slam on Red Pepper, was looking forward to the food. More a slam on Grub Hub.

Nov 17, 2022

1 star

Red Pepper had the misfortune of having Thomas B. of MD, MD as a guest on my birthday. He is clearly a moron. Red Pepper's menu is quite large and yes, they offer mostly more traditional dishes. Thomas B. might enjoy Szechuan House more because they seem to cater to white people with no tastebuds.

Don't waste your time or money here. They have a very small menu, and I understand that 90% of the dishes on the menu are traditional Chinese dishes with that said the service is subpar at best the food is bland and without flavor. I had a chicken dish and my wife a beef dish but were really bad. The only bright spot here was my 15 year olds orange chicken. If you want good Chinese food go to Joey chens in Green spring station.

* Any products in this post that are mentioned by name may have been provided to Minxeats by the manufacturer. However, all opinions belong to Minxeats. Amazon links earn me $! Please buy!

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Cosima Revisited

When we were given a preview of Cosima restaurant in December of last year, we knew we would be back to try their Sicilian-style cuisine as soon as it opened. Of course, life got in the way and we couldn't seem to find the right time to return. By August, when my brother-in-law asked me where I wanted to eat for my birthday dinner, I knew this was the perfect opportunity.

We were lucky enough to go on a evening when the weather was mild and the outdoor patio was open. It's certainly a scenic view, surrounded by the old mill architecture with the light rail trains trundling nearby and the Jones Falls burbling below. The four of us decided to start our meal with the gnocchi di ricotta al forno and polpette, or mamma's meatballs.

We had sampled the meatballs during the media preview so we knew we had a winner there. They were tender and flavorful in a marinara sauce topped with a healthy dollop of ricotta. The gnocchi were fluffy pillows of softness blanketed by a rich blend of Italian cheeses.

The fritto misto di pesce was a pleasant mix of seafood deep fried in a light batter. While the calamari and shrimp were of course familiar, the smelts were a new sensation. I enjoyed the crisp texture and strong seafood flavor.

A pizza from their wood-fired oven was also a must for us, so we ordered the pizza cape sante di pancetta: smoked baby scallops, smoked mozzarella, basil, caramelized bacon, and tiny whole onions. This was probably my favorite dish of the whole evening! The crust was crisp yet chewy, the baby scallops were tender, and the overall smoky quality brought a welcome depth of flavor.

Being the typical oinkers that we are, we also order three entrees to share. (Had we realized how large the entrees are at Cosima, we might have ordered only two or even one, especially after all those apps.) The polpettone, or meatloaf, was essentially a giant meatball with a hardboiled egg hidden inside, or an Italian-style Scotch egg without the outer crust, if you like. We also ordered the pesce alla griglia, a whole grilled bronzino with a kale salad, and the ragu di maiale brasato, slow-cooked pork ribs with fennel sausage and pancetta in tomato sauce over polenta. The Minx thought the polpettone might be overkill since we already had meatballs, but the texture of the meat was firmer and seasoned differently. The only issue was that it was slightly underdone in the middle. We took that portion home so I could crisp it up in a pan and add it to marinara sauce for spaghetti. (Leftovers rule!)

The bronzino had light, flaky flesh and the kale salad was a refreshing companion. I was also able to take the fish carcass home and use it to make the stock for a pho-style soup later in the week.  Of the three, I especially enjoyed the slow-cooked pork ribs. The tender meat swimming in the rich, hearty sauce and the polenta made for several unctuous mouthfuls before I decided I was stuffed and called for a large doggie bag.

I was always sure that the food would be terrific at Cosima and I was not disappointed, but I was also pleased with the friendly service we experienced. Even executive chef and co-owner Donna Crivello came out and greeted each table to make sure everyone was satisfied with their meals. Between the lovely setting, the great food, and the warm atmosphere, this is a place I hope to get back to again soon.

Cosima Mill No. 1
3000 Falls Road, Mill No. 1
Baltimore, MD 21211
443.708.7352

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Cosima - Coming Soon!

The old mills along the Jones Falls in the Woodberry/Hampden area have gone through a great deal of renovation recently, especially as new restaurants. Of course, Woodberry Kitchen is the most well known, but Birroteca has been pulling in big business for several years and La Cuchara is a new hotspot in this desirable section of town. In January 2016, Cosima will open its doors in Mill No. 1 serving refined Italian cuisine in a space that combines the rustic elements of its mill past with ultra modern decor and a lovely view of the Jones Falls.

Cosima is the brainchild of Donna Crivello of Donna's in the Village of Cross Keys and Donna's Cafe, and her partners, Alan Hirsh and Judith Golding. The cuisine is Southern Italian, but framed in the format of many New American restaurants, offering appetizers to share, pasta, pizza from their wood-fired brick oven, and entrees that are a bit lighter than your traditional red sauce establishments. The Minx and I were recently given a preview of some of the dishes that will be offered.

We started the evening with a pair of cocktails using various brands of amaro, an Italian liqueur that will be featured prominently on the restaurant's specialty cocktail menu. The word amaro means "bitter" in Italian; each brand has its own level of bitterness, which was balanced by other elements in the cocktails, like prosecco. Cosima will also offer a wine list comprised of wines made exclusively in Southern Italy.

The sharing plates will include a crudo like the swordfish variety we sampled. The light starter featured pickled fennel and a vinaigrette for the right touch of acid.

The brick walls of the old mill provide a perfect home for their newly built wood-fired oven. From this oven will come a variety of pizzas, like the Sfincione Sicilian pizza with eggpant, Italian sausage, and smoked mozzarella. I've always maintained that I'm not a fan of eggplant, but this pizza has me thinking twice. The menu will also feature thin-crust pizzas.

When I first arrived at the preview, Donna was just bringing out the polpetti, or momma's meatballs, and asked if I wanted to be the first to try them. I would never turn down meatballs, so I eagerly said yes. I was a little disappointed when she only put two on the plate rather than allowing me to eat the whole skillet. My disappointment was allayed somewhat by the incredible flavor. Redolent of garlic and cumin and slightly firm (the way I like them), they were enhanced by the tangy ragu and house-made ricotta.

The restaurant was still a work in progress when we visited, so we're eager to revisit Cosima when it opens to see how the finished product and sample more of the intriguing cuisine. When the weather gets warmer, I'm sure the outdoor seating along the Falls will be wonderful to experience.

Cosima
3000 Falls Road, Mill No. 1
Baltimore, MD 21211
443-708-7352
www.cosimamill1.com



Posted on Minxeats.com.